She should be blubbering with terror. Instead she sat like a marble statue, staring sightlessly from the window of thecarriage. It was her own fault. She should never have believed that ridiculous story about Les and Stella walking tothe village. She should never have set foot inside the carriage without a female companion right there beside her.She had only herself to blame. And she could not hope tobe pursued and overtaken in the nick of time. No one knewthey were going to Gloucester. No one would have reasonto guess even after they were missed and it was discoveredthat Freddie's carriage was gone.
It was Freddie. That was what made the whole thing so totally unbearable. She supposed it would be unbearablewhoever had taken it into his head to kidnap and rape her.But it was definitely worse knowing it was Freddie. Freddie! Her playmate from childhood on. Her partner in mischief on innumerable occasions. She had always liked him.More—she had always had a deep affection for him. Hehad seemed like a real cousin. During the summer monthsof her life he had sometimes seemed more like a brother.
If she could have any choice under such ghastly circumstances, she would choose to be riding now with a stranger, with an evil and sinister stranger, one she could hate without qualms.
It was deeply distressing to hate Freddie in all earnest. And perhaps to be tied to him in hatred for the rest of herlife. For despite what she had said to him earlier, she wasnot sure that she would be able to hold firm against marrying him once he had had her virtue. She could only imaginewhat she would feel like afterward. She could not knowwith any certainty since what was going to happen wasquite outside her experience. But she feared that after allshe might feel constrained to marry him.
She shuddered inwardly at the thought. She would never be able to like Freddie after tonight. Or to feel affection forhim.
She supposed he would take her back to Primrose Park the next day, provided she had promised to marry him. Hewould doubtless make up some story about what had keptthem in Gloucester overnight but would pacify the relativesby announcing that he was doing the honorable thing andmarrying her. They would all be satisfied.
Daniel would be there. He would look at her with contempt and loathing. Daniel! Her hands began to twist themselves in her lap, but she stilled them. She would not give Freddie the satisfaction of knowing that she was upset inany way.
Daniel. She swallowed and heard a gurgle in her throat.
They rode around and around the streets of Gloucester when they arrived there for what seemed to be hours andprobably was. Frederick started talking again.
“I feel like the very devil, Jule,” he said. “Don’t make me do this. Just say you will marry me.”
“Youarethe very devil, Freddie,” she said, looking steadily back at him. “I am only sorry that it is so. And asfor the rest, you are wasting your breath.”
“You know that you are going to have to marry me after today,” he said. “Why not just forget about your stubbornness and save us both some distress?”
“Will it distress you to rape me?” she asked. “Good.”
He was silent again for a while. And then he touched his knuckles to her cheek and smiled at her and tried to use hischarm on her. She leaned away from his hand and looked athim stonily.
“Let me make one thing clear to you, Freddie,” she said. “You are not going to persuade me or coax me into anything no matter how long and skillfully you try. I will fightyou every inch of the way. You will not be quite unscathedat the end of this night, I believe. I have no doubt that youwill overpower me in the end. Indeed you are big enoughand strong enough to do so without getting badly hurt yourself, I daresay. But you are going to have to fight for whatever you get. That is all I have to say.”
“Jule,” he said, “you would enjoy it. You could be happy with me. Youwillbe happy with me.”
“I could be happy in hell with the devil too,” she said, “except that I happen not to like the thought of roasting forthe small matter of an eternity.”
“You are making altogether too much of this,” he said, smiling again and using his bedroom eyes on her.
She turned her head to look out of the window again and they lapsed into another lengthy silence. Almost she couldwish that he would put an end to the delay and have hiscoachman take them to some inn. What was going to happen was inevitable. It would be almost a relief to have itover with. Though she would fight him like a vixen. Shehad not lied about that.
“Jule.” She turned her head to look at him. His elbow was resting on the windowsill, his hand spread over hisclosed eyes. “I can’t do this, you know.”
She said nothing. She did not realize that she was holding her breath.
“I can’t do it,” he said again, removing his hand and looking across at her, his eyes mocking. She guessed thatthey mocked himself rather than her. “I thought I could. Ithought 1 was desperate enough. But I can’t.”
She hardly dared hope.
“Lord God,” he said, “what have I come to? How low is it possible to sink, Jule?”
“Pretty low, Freddie,” she said. “But I think there are perhaps limits for someone who is basically decent.”
“Basically decent” he said. “Me?”
“Yes, you, Freddie,” she said, and hope surged like fresh blood through all her veins. “But you have sunk pretty lowtoday. I am not sure I will ever be able to forgive you.”
“I don’t think I would expect you to.” His smile was twisted. “But I am going to have to offer for you anyway,Jule, after we get back to Primrose Park and the storm hasbroken over our heads. You are going to have to marryme.”
“I am expected to behave with impropriety,” she said. “This will only seem a little worse than my usual type ofescapade. I will not marry you, Freddie.”
He sighed. “We will be fortunate to get back by nightfall,” he said. “Should we find out Prudholm so that at least it will seem that we had a reason for coming here?”
