“Agreed,” she said, squeezing Frederick’s hands again and standing on tiptoe so that she might kiss his cheek.“Thank you, Freddie. You are turning out to be a truefriend after all.”
He stood back and released her hands, smiling ruefully. “Perhaps you had better not touch me too much, Jule,” hesaid. “I have not had a great deal of practice at resistingladies I want, you know.”
“I am sorry,” she said, taking a step back herself. “Shall we go inside?”
“I think we had better, Jule,” he said. “Eight o’clock breakfast tomorrow?”
“I’ll be down,” she said, “and ready to go as soon as we have finished eating.”
Malcolm and Camilla had crossed the terrace and descended the steps to the formal gardens. They strolled along the gravel walks, arms linked.
“Julia spoke with me,” Malcolm said. “She has decided not to betroth herself to anyone this month. She feels that itwould be wrong.”
“Ah,” Camilla said quietly. “Are you disappointed, Malcolm? Were you still planning to offer for her?”
“I was not sure,” he said. “But 1 am not disappointed. I don’t think Julia would have been happy with me. I am toodull a fellow.”
Camilla smiled up at him. “More to the point,” she said, “is that you would not have been happy with her, Malcolm.She would have unwittingly made you feel dull, and youare not. I am glad that she has rejected you though sorry ifyou are hurt in any way.”
“I asked you out here with me,” he said, smiling ruefully, “because I wanted someone to help me celebrate.”
She laughed.
“I have always admired Julia’s high spirits,” he said. “I even fancied myself a little in love with her though I knownow that I was not. We would have nothing to offer eachother. I fancied myself in love once before. And I think perhaps I was not deceiving myself that time because I likedher too and she liked me and she was one of the fewwomen in my life with whom I always felt at ease.”
“But it did not work out?” She looked rather sadly at him. “I am sorry, Malcolm. You must have suffered fromher loss. She married someone else?”
“There was a betrothal,” he said. “But he died. She was very much in love with him. After her betrothal and afterhis death I persuaded myself that what I felt was affection,not love. She is still my friend.”
They walked in silence for a while. “Malcolm.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “Whom are you talkingabout?”
“Perhaps it would be better if I said no more,” he said. “Perhaps I have already said too much. I would not want tolose a dear friend. Except that it has been two years,Camilla, and you said yourself that it is time for you to liveagain.”
“It was me you loved?” Her voice was trembling.
“Present tense,” he said. “I was wrong about Julia and I was wrong about my real feelings for you. But I did not realize it fully until this evening. I don’t want it to spoil ourfriendship, though, Camilla. 1 should have said nothing justas I did when we were growing up.”
She stopped walking and turned to look at him. “You were always my hero,” she said. “I even used to sigh secretly over you during my growing years and admire yourheight and your lovely blond hair. But you were always soquiet and somehow unattainable. And then I met Simon andfell head over ears for him. You became my friend—or remained my friend, I should say, after all the silliness hadpassed. Or what I thought of as silliness, Malcolm.” She sether head to one side and continued to look at him.
“You would prefer that we remained as just friends?” he said “Perhaps it would be as well.”
“Simon is dead,” she said “I did love him dearly, Malcolm. But he has been gone for longer than two years and I have love to give. It is fairly bursting from me. And I needto be loved. Now, in the present, not just in the past. Life isto be lived. Now. I want warm, living arms to hold me.”
He touched his fingertips to one of her cheeks. They trembled slightly. He lowered his head and touched his lipsto hers. “Mine will hold you forever if you want them to,”he said.
He could see the tears swimming in her eyes as she smiled at him and slid her arms up about his neck. “Yes, Ido, Malcolm,” she said “Oh, yes, please, I do.”
He kissed her again, wrapping his arms about her and drawing her close against him. And feeling so brimmingover with happiness that he could have cried too.
“You will marry me, then?” he asked her when he finally lifted his head.
She nodded, smiling, and he could tell that she would not trust her voice.
“I’ll talk to your brother, then,” he said “Now, Camilla? Shall I do it now?”
She shook her head. “Don’t let’s go inside yet,” she said.“I want to be alone with you for a while longer, Malcolm, to savor the wonder of this night.”
He kissed her briefly once more. “You think it is all right for you to be out here even longer with me when you areunchaperoned?” he asked her.
