Would it? Was there any way on this earth that she would listen seriously to an offer of marriage from Daniel?She thought of him again as he had appeared in the arbor,framed by roses, the sun at his back, and there was a tightening in her breasts and an aching in her womb. Purelyphysical reactions. Pure lust. Except that there was anaching in her heart as well.
She thought determinedly of Freddie and his kisses. Wonderful and experienced and satisfying. Except that shecould not really remember them. But they had been thosethings. She had thought so at the time. If only he were notFreddie. If only he were not someone she had known all herlife, someone she could not think of seriously as a lover.But then she had known Daniel all her life too.
She thought of Les. Dear, kind Les, who would allow her to live at Primrose Park as she had always lived and wouldnot inflict his company on her uninvited. Except that she did not want to live the rest of her life at Primrose Park as she always had. She wanted—something different. Sheyearned for something different.
Well, she thought suddenly, looking critically at her image again and deciding that the redness would no longerbe noticeable to anyone who did not know she had beencrying, so he had had enough of an effect on her to have hercowering in her room, had he? She would be damned before she would give him the satisfaction. She was going togo back to the lake if it killed her.
Besides, she thought, going through to her bedchamber again and picking up her bonnet and her parasol and pushing her feet into her slippers, she was starved.
13
There was not a great deal to be done in the village, but a summer at Primrose Park never seemed quitecomplete if the younger people did not spend a few hoursthere on at least one occasion. The main attraction whenthey were children had been the confectionery, which forsome strange reason was a part of the milliner’s shop. Andthey had always loved to wander in the churchyard readingthe old tombstones—the girls had liked to sigh over thechildren’s graves. And they had all liked to climb the belltower, though that had been forbidden for two whole yearsafter the vicar had complained to the old earl about the bellbeing rung in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon andthrowing all the villagers into confusion. Daniel, only thirteen years old, and Frederick had been the culprits.
In more recent years the rest of the milliner’s shop had had more attraction for the girls and the village tavern forthe men. But the church and churchyard still drew themlike a magnet
They walked the two miles from the house to the village two days after the picnic at the lake. After a day of steadyand heavy rain, the sun was shining again and they were allready for exercise. Julia linked her arm with Augustus’swithout waiting for an invitation.
“Hello, Jule,” he said. “Where have you been moping for a day and a half?”
“Must I have been moping,” she asked, “just because I have been keeping quietly to myself? The rain made anyoutdoor activity impossible. I had some embroidery towork on and an interesting book to finish. Why are yougrinning like an imbecile?”
“If you don’t want to tell me why you have been moping,” he said, “you don’t have to. You don’t need to tell ridiculous bouncers.”
“How do you think I live when I am alone here with Grandpapa and Aunt Millie all the time?” she asked. “But Ihavebeen moping, Gussie. You are quite right. I had threemarriage offers the day before last. What do you think ofthat?”
Augustus whistled. “All three of them?” he said. “Freddie, Les, and Malcolm? Is that a woman’s dream come true, Jule? Which one are you going to accept? Or can’t you decide? Is that the problem?”
“Not Malcolm,” she said pointedly. “Daniel.”
“Dan.” He stopped walking suddenly and stared at her incredulously. “Dan offered for you? He must want Primrose Park quite desperately.”
“Thank you, Gussie,” she said, mortified. “I really needed that.”
“Oh, sorry, Jule,” he said. “It was not meant to be an insult. But we all know how Dan feels about you.”
“He kissed me,” she said. “Oh, that is a quite inadequate description of what happened. He did far more than kissme. Gussie”—she spoke in a rush—“I have needed to talkto someone. 1 have run through all the aunts and all the female cousins in my head and rejected them all. I mighthave chosen Camilla, but she is his sister. May I talk toyou?”
“I think you already are doing that, Jule,” he said. “But I know what you mean. Fire away then.”
She gave him a highly expurgated account of what had happened two mornings before when she had met the earlwhile out riding. “And then he took me up to the rose arborfrom the lake in the afternoon,” she said, “and apologizedand told me I must marry him.”
“Told you?” Augustus raised his eyebrows. “Now that was a mistake. Sometimes Dan can show lamentable lackof sense.”
“Yes,” she said. “And then when I said no, I would rather be dead, he said he must insist.”
“You said that?” he said. “About preferring to be dead? Not nice, Jule. He would not have liked that. So that is theend of it?”
“I suppose so,” she said. “He has said nothing since. I suppose that means I have two offers to consider. Whichshould I accept, Gussie? Freddie or Les? They could hardlybe more different from each other, could they? Who wouldever guess that they are brothers?”
“Let’s get back to Dan,” Augustus said. “You sounded almost disappointed when you said ‘I suppose so.’ Areyou?”
“Disappointed that Daniel has not renewed his offer?” She looked indignantly at him. “Or that he has not insistedfurther? Are you mad, Gussie? Daniel? I hate Daniel. I despise him. I would not marry him if he came with a gift of amillion pounds. I would—”
“By George,” Augustus said, “youaredisappointed, Jule.”
She stared at him openmouthed for a few moments. “If I am,” she said at last, “it is because I have no further opportunity to cut him down, to give him a piece of my mind.Gussie, why did it always bother me that Daniel disapproved of me? Why could I never just thumb my nose athim and go on my way and forget about him? Why does italways hurt, even now, when he catches me doing something that perfect ladies would not do and looks along thataristocratic nose at me? Why do I want to hurl myself athim and scratch his eyes out? It should not matter, shouldit? All the rest of you seem to like me and accept me as Iam. Even Camilla, who is so quiet and so dignified herself.And even Malcolm although he never says anything. But Idon’t feel disapproval coming from him. Why can’t Daniellike me too?”
“Lord, Jule,” Augustus said, “I think you had better take a closer look at your feelings, girl. And if Dan forgot himself as far as to do what you say he did the other morning and then felt constrained to offer for you even though noone else had seen, then maybe he should do the same thing.By George, this is most interesting, you know. Dan. Whowould have thought it?”
