My stomach growls. Loudly.
Cooper sweeps his hand, pushing the cup toward me.
“Drink up. We’ve got more dating practice tonight and I don’t need my star student malnourished.”
I take a drink from the orange straw, and about choke.
Did he say practice?
My eyes whip to his, then his mouth.
“Not kissing,” he jokes. “But good to know you’re thinking about it.”
“I. Am. Not.” I make sure to enunciate each word.
“Why not? I am.”
Okay, so maybe I am, but it meant nothing, and I’m going on a date with Zach, and I need to be thinking about that. And I hate Cooper.
“Zach asked me out on a date,” I say as if it’s a blade or insult I can wield. Recentering the both of us with the purpose of this whole arrangement. “I said yes.”
“Oh. Cool. That’s cool.” Cooper goes tense. Jaw twitching and an unreadable expression takes over his eyes.
My professor announces the start of class, and before I get a chance to say anything else to Cooper, he disappears.
SIXTEEN
COOPER
Sutton shifted backinto her usual demeanor after she told me about Zach asking her out. Across the room glares and sharp quips, but now they feel forced.
Tried to text her about it, but she’s left every single text unanswered except for one. Replying to give me an adjusted session time and place for today.
I tuck myself into a study booth in the library an hour before I’m supposed to meet Sutton. This isn’t my favorite library—mine is on the east side of campus and is much smaller—but this is hers. The booth is up against a brick wall with a large window that overlooks campus. Today, it’s gross out. Gray and cold. Snow is melting which means it’s turning black from being trampled and over shoveled.
I finished my test early and came here instead of heading home. I love my roommates, trust me, I do, but it’s very rare for the place to be remotely quiet. Someone is always doing something—cooking, playing video games, watching television, someone. Studying is impossible there. I can barely get through two math equations before my mind wanders to them or somewhere else. With back-to-back games coming up, I want to get ahead on my homework.
Plus, I knew if I went home, I’d end up shutting everyone out. Today’s been a bad day, but I’m trying to be better.
Time ticks by, and I expect Sutton to be here by now. She’s never late, but once it’s fifteen after four, I get concerned.
After another ten minutes, there’s an unease that takes root in my stomach. I call her twice and it goes directly to voicemail. I snatch my keys off the table and get to her place as quickly as possible.
I slam on the steering wheel when I get caught behind a mail truck. There’s no room to go around them; the left side of the street is lined with parallel-parked cars, campus parking passes hanging from the rearview mirrors.
Their blinker turns on, flashing in the same direction I need to go. The last time I was scared like this was when my dad called about Sutton getting hurt. I couldn’t get to the hospital quickly enough.
Except this time, when I show up, I’m not letting her shoo me away. Mom was angry with Dad for calling me, but he explained how I deserved to know because no matter what, Sutton is family.
Sutton being family has been my scapegoat. Whenever she gets mad at me, rolls her eyes, and even insults me, I tell myself that she’s family. It’s my Trojan horse.
Because even a crumb of Sutton is better than nothing.
Maintaining my position in Sutton’s life hasn’t been easy. There is a minefield between us, and I risk it every day to stay close to her. I’ve held tight to this belief that maybe one day we’ll at least get back to how we once were.
I shift my backpack to my other shoulder, push up the sleeve of my sweatshirt. Immediately, I pull it back down, covering the colorful bracelet on my wrist.
I knock on their door after sneaking in the main door behind another student.
