“Zach. What’s up, man? Did you have a good break?” I clap his outstretched hand, giving him one of those bro hugs. Stepping away from Sutton, revealing her behind me.
“Yeah, it was good. Saw my parents in Tampa. What about you?”
“Quick. Only got a five-day break this year.”
“That’s right. I saw your double-win last weekend against the Firehawks. Shutout both times? St. James is on fire right now.”
“The entire team is, man. When do you start spring training games?”
“In a month. I’m ready, I think this is our year.” Zach’s hope isn’t far-fetched. A freshman came in pitching almost one hundred as a lefty. “Are you with Sutton?”
“Oh-uh-um…no,” I stutter around the sentence. Around the entire question. I get he’s asking me where she is physically, in the grocery store, but my mind immediately jumps to being togetherlike that.
He stares at me, confused.
“Hi,” her sweetly smooth voice responds. Sutton’s head peaks through under my armpit.
I adjust my arm around her so that she’s standing next to me.
“Hey.” Zach grins, bigger than I’ve ever seen him smile. There’s an essence of nerves, but they don’t outweigh his confidence. “You haven’t called me yet.”
“I-I-I’ve been busy.” She picks at a curl. The strand bounces with the movement. “Prepping for classes, searching for a summer internship…” Sutton starts to ramble on, and I subtly tap her upper arm to get her to stop.
“Any that you are excited for?”
“Dr. Manning’s abnormal psychology class.”
“Me too. I didn’t realize you were taking that.”
Sutton nods, and her face blooms red. She swallows slowly, tugging at the strand of hair more. “We’ve been in the same classes since freshman year,” she admits slowly.
Zach runs his tongue along his front teeth, and if I were him, I’d too would be embarrassed for not noticing her earlier. “Can I walk you to class on Monday? You live in the campus apartments?”
“Oh. Well…Elliot and I usually…”
I jump in, jealousy itching up my spine, but I’m also trying to sort through why she’s embarrassed right now. “She’s walking with me. Old traditions of starting the school year together.” I snake my arm around her tensing shoulders.
“Didn’t realize you two were close.”
“Sutton”—her shoulders roll back, a rigidity overtakes her. Shit, I never call her Sutton—“likes to pretend we aren’t.” That’s not completely a lie.
Zach sways, clutching his basket tighter.
“I guess I’ll see you around. In class or something.” He gives her a once-over and walks away. I don’t like it.
As soon as Zach is down an aisle, Sutton moves my arm off her.
“Never do that again.” She jabs a finger into my chest.
Do what? Defend her? Put my arm around her? Say we are close?
Probably option D: all of the above.
I hate how much this hurts, knowing that she doesn’t want me.
Sutton drops her finger. My hand jolts forward with the smallest movement, and it takes a conscious thought to stop. To not grab hold of her and never let go.
Her hands move to her face, covering the entirety of it. Pale blue nails with small, darker blue dots look fresh.
