Elliot claps joyfully. “I am loving this.”
“I am not,” Jordan and I both say.
“So what happened between that morning and yesterday?” Jordan searches for the same clarification I’ve been racking my brain for.
“I don’t know, but should I be surprised? Cooper and I were never going to work. I like someone else, he’s just helping me out.”
“And who is it that you like?”
“Cooper.” It comes out abruptly. I’m slapping a hand against my mouth once my brain processes, dropping my attention to my lap.
Cooper?What?
No, I don’t like Cooper. I can’t like-like Cooper.
I don’t even like Cooper as a friend.
Yes, you do, my treacherous heart sings.You even called him your best friend,my brain teams up with my heart.
Great. Just great.
I tip my chin up and find Elliot’s mouth about to break from smiling so big, and Jordan’s brows are one with her blue hairline.
“That’s not what I meant,” I try to backtrack. “I thought you asked something else.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Sutton, it’s okay to have feelings for my brother.” When I open my mouth, she hastily adds, “That’s not hatred.”
“But—”
I don’t know why I’m fighting myself internally. I know I like-like Cooper. These rediscovered, renewed feelings for Cooper have already stuck themselves in the driver’s seat.
And maybe I wanted to deny it? Never admit it aloud. I’d rather let them burn out again than anyone know the truth.
Jordan hands me her phone, her brother on the line.Tell himshe mouths.
“What? Right now?” I whisper-yell despite tapping mute.
She points to her hair. “Be spontaneous.”
I roll my eyes.
“Jord, you okay? I’m with mom. Jord?”
I unmute myself and hold the phone up to my ear. “Cooper?—”
The line goes dead.
My favorite placeon campus is empty, but that’s probably because no one knows about it. An old, wood dock hidden in a canopy of overgrown emergent plants. The path out here is discreet and if you don’t know where it is, you’ll more than likely never find it.
I’ve been coming out here since freshman year, and rarely see another soul, except Chase. We’ve bumped into each other twice. From the dock, tucked in a small alcove, you’ll find fishermen along the distant shoreline, boats from the marina, or our rowing team out practicing. Sometimes, students are brave enough to swim, or skinny dip, in the water.
I come here in the mornings or to catch the sunset. Mainly on my runs. A pit stop for my knee and brain. It’s peaceful.
My feet dangle off the edge, gaze out on the water where I tossed a pebble.
I had a missed call from Cooper last night. When I called him back, he didn’t answer. He drove back late, and was studying this morning for a quiz.
