This doesn’t have to be for anyone else but myself.
By the time I unclip myself from my skis, I’m absolutely beat. I’m guaranteed to be sore as hell tomorrow, but I’m also excited to do this all again.
I kick snow off my boots and unzip my jacket as I head inside, a wild smile on my face.
“Henri,” I call out, excited to tell her how right she was. I bet she’ll listen to that. “What are you feeling for lunch?”
But there’s no response. I guess she’s still out ice skating. It’s not like there’s much else to do here. As I head toward the back door, I find the red hat I got her resting on the bench that also conceals a storage area. I grab it and my old skates, shaking my head. She’d freeze to death without me.
There’s been a light snowfall but I follow the trail she’s cut through the snow to the circle of ancient trees that wrap around the small lake. I pause and listen, expecting to hear the scraping of skates on the ice, but nothing. She could be just sitting to the side resting.
“Liam, please tell me that’s you!” she attempts to yell, her voice hoarse and quivering in terror.
I drop everything and run the rest of the way, crossing the treeline to find her, legs wobbling, standing maybe ten feet from the edge. Under her, there’s a white fissure in the ice. When her wide, fright-filled eyes find me, she moves and the ice cracks.
No. No. No. This can’t be real.
“Henri, just stop and listen to me.” I hold my arms out the way I would if I were to encounter a frightened animal.
“My legs. They’re going to give out. I’ve been stuck like this for half an hour. I called for you and you weren’t there.” Her chin wobbles.
“I’m here now. It’s going to be fine.” It’s hard to stay calm even as my heart thunders.Stupid.I was so stupid not to check and see she knew what to look for on the ice. I should have come to check it. I shouldn’t have let her come out alone. “Do what I do.” I crouch down and slip onto my stomach at the edge, dispersing my weight as much as possible. After a second of hesitation she starts to do the same. A crack sounds and she flinches. “Just like that. Keep going.”
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until it gusts out of me the moment she’s on her stomach. Not safe yet, but one step closer to being so. “Now, slide toward me.” I start to scoot forward, so my torso is on the ice and my lower half is firmly on the ground. I want to go further, but adding more weight on the ice would just increase the risk of us both being pulled under.
Inch by torturous inch she comes closer, pausing each time the ice creaks and groans under her.
“So close. Just another foot and I can pull you the rest of the way. You’re so brave.” I don’t stop talking, urging her to me and trying to distract her and myself from the fact that the ice is thinnest here at the edge. Behind her the fissures have spiderwebbed and it’s an effort to keep my gaze from wandering.
So close.
Come on, Henri. Keep moving.
I’ll do anything if she can just get back to me.
Three inches. Two. One.
A splitting crack rips through the air. Ice severs.
I lunge.
“Henri!”
26
Henri
Liam’s body curls around me as we tumble into the snow. A sound halfway between a sob and a laugh launches out of my shaking body.
“I’m here. I’m here and I’ve got you. You’re safe,” he soothes the both of us. A hand strokes my hair and pins me against his heaving chest. “Let’s get inside.”
He carries me the short distance back. Just as we reach the tree line, I look at the pond and all the thick floating chunks of ice bobbing along the surface. I was so sure I was going to die there on the ice. That Liam would come out and there would just be a hole where I disappeared, my body blue and stiff. I stood as still as I could, praying for him to come.
I’m so stiff that when we get inside Liam has to help me unlace the skates. They’re damp because even though he hauled me to safety, my legs took a solid dip into the unforgiving frigid water. The fabric of my thick rainbow-striped pants clings to my skin, making it feel like a thousand little needles have been speared into my flesh.
“I thought the heat was working,” I get through the chattering of my teeth.
“Fuck, it is,” he grits out. “We need to get you warmed up. Can you walk?”
