“I’m in New York, freelancing,” I say.
Kurt nods. “I have this buddy who does that—upcharges like crazy and hardly does any work.”
“Good for him. But I keep busy and I applied to grad school for next fall,” I say, feeling like I have to prove something, for some reason.
“You can’t be serious.” Laura nearly chokes on a startled laugh. “You remember that girl who took your SATs for you? She had to wear a wig to look anything like your school ID.”
“Yeah, that was really something.” My cheeks flame. I feel helpless as my past and present collide. Despite the hiss of steaming milk, I know Liam can hear every word.
There’s no point in denying that’s exactly who I was, the same type of person Liam would call entitled. If my life had been different I would have been out there with them and Liam would hate me with the rest of them.
“People change. It doesn’t seem like you know her anymore.” Liam’s voice is colder than I’ve ever heard it before. “Here’s your stuff. Better get back to the slopes before they get too crowded.”
“Thanks, man.” Kurt smiles and grabs the carrier. “And, Henrietta, I guess this means we’ll see you around? My family’s coming to the charity gala this year, and I know my mom would love to see you. She still talks about how she wishes you were around to go shopping with.”
“It would be great to catch up,” I say.
Yup, a night with a room full of people I never thought I’d see again? Perfect. And if Kurt’s behavior is any indication, they’ll pretend nothing happened, because of course they have some new scandal to fixate on.
“Are you okay?” Liam asks when they’re out of earshot.
Those three words snap something in me. I feel stretched thin. The backs of my eyes burn.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom really quick.” I make quick work of the apron ties around my waist and toss it onto the hook.
“Henri, wait,” he starts but a woman and child come up to the counter.
“Go ahead. Ask the man about the hot chocolate like we practiced,” I hear the woman say as I walk past.
It occurs to me ten minutes into searching for a bathroom, that I have no idea where it is. I’ve found myself on the second floor, walking past game rooms and a restaurant. I reach a set of double doors and pull them open.
A breath leaves from my lungs as I stare at wall to wall bookshelves, only broken up by a large window facing the ski runs. I lose myself, running my fingers over cracked spines of books that would otherwise feel out of place together, but here make sense. Romance, horror, classics, history.
Hinges creek and I drop my hand, as if trying to not get caught.
“I was planning on bringing you up here later, but it seems like you found it on your own. This is my favorite room in this place.” Liam walks to me, feet sinking into the plush crimson carpet. “When I got injured, I would just stay up here and read all day.”
“Sorry, I got sidetracked, I didn’t mean to disappear."
“It’s fine. You looked like you needed a minute, especially after you went the complete opposite direction of the bathrooms.” There’s a lick of humor in his tone that subsides into concern. “How are you really?”
“Just surprised. I haven’t seen them in a long time, and I wasn’t expecting to run into them here.”
“You know them.”
“So do you,” I counter.
“Not the way you do.”
“They were my best friends for pretty much my entire life—elementary school through the first few years of college. I was just like them, Liam. If things were different I would have been on the other side of that counter and you would hate me the way you hate them,” I say, even as it kills me a little. I don’t want it to be true, but it is.
“Good thing you were back behind the counter with me.”
“You don’t get it!” My voice cracks as I yell.
“Then explain it to me,” he pleads. “I want to understand.”
“They left. They knew me for almost my entire life and the moment I needed them they were gone. And it wasn’t just them, either. The reason they pushed me away was because it came out that my dad had this secret life. My own dad didn’t choose me, Liam.” I dodge around the truth: my dad chose money over my mom and I. Not just that, he put us at risk for it. “There’s nothing about me worth sticking around for.”
