A red felt star with thick yarn needle work, trimmed with old thread. We’ve had it for as long as I can remember, and it’s probably older than I am. I grip it and stand, ready to bolt back to my tree, but my arm is yanked back toward the bin and I nearly lose my footing.
“What the hell, June?” I pivot and grip my edge of the star with both hands.
“I was digging for that!”
“How was I supposed to know you had this one in mind?” I tug but June digs in her heels. “We grabbed it at the same time.” Something in me snaps. Why do I always have to give something up? Why do they expect me to just let go and give them what they want when I have every right to it?
“If you had just paid attention, then you would have figured it out.”
“It’s just an ornament.”
“If you don’t care about it, just let go.”
“But it matters to you?”
“Iput in the work.Iearned it.”
Riiiiip.
The star splits down the middle, fabric giving way. June and I both rear back, each of us landing on our asses. I grunt as the air is knocked out of me. Cloudy white fluff flies into the air before landing on top of the stack of ornaments between us.
“Why couldn’t you just let me have it?” June asks, despondent, looking at the limp scrap of hand-embroidered fabric in her hand.
“Is everyone okay? I heard a thud.” Henri slides into the room as she skids across the smooth floor on her socks, overshooting the door just a bit. “Shit, that’s gnarly. Let me go get my sewing kit.”
20
Henri
Isit on the overstuffed chair in the corner of the guest room with the torn fabric star turned inside out on my lap. I didn’t have the same gold thread as the original in my emergency sewing kit, but I can at least try to make the stitches mostly invisible.
Knuckles rap at my door, and I look up to find Liam standing there sheepishly, with his hands in his pockets. “Sorry.”
“For what?”
He walks in and takes a seat on the edge of the bed nearest to me. “For the fact that it’s been nothing but chaos since you got here.”
“You want chaos? How about being hired to spend the holidays with a man because he’s in love with his brother’s fiancé. I took pity on the guy, but that was before I realized I was just there to cover up the fact that he and the fiancée were hooking up this entire time and didn’t want to ruin Christmas.” I swiftly push the needle through the felt, sped up by my mild annoyance at the memory. “This is nothing compared to that.Everyone thinks their family is weird in some way, but let’s be real. The families on TV? If we were actually a part of those, we’d feel the same way. We’re all just a little fucked up.”
“You would be the expert with all your experience,” Liam says, not knowing how true that is. “But you do have to admit, it’s at least a little crazy.”
I smile to myself, my fingers slowing as I reach a point on the star’s points. “Yeah, a little, but it’s fun. I don’t really have any traditions of my own, so it’s always nice to see other people’s. For a week each year, I get to pretend they’re mine too and I love feeling like I’m a part of those memories.”
“You really do this every Christmas?”
“Christmas. Thanksgiving. Valentines. Easter—now that’s a fun holiday. Brunches and egg hunts are a blast.”
“Do you ever have time for yourself, Henri?”
“Are you asking as L. Hughes or Liam?” I ask, really hoping that this is just part of the interview and I can give a clean-cut answer.
“Both.”
“Well, I would tell you that being with others, helping them feel close to the people they love helps me to feel fulfilled. It’s a gift in and of itself to do that, make a difference. Not going to write that down?”
“My notebook is in the other room, I’ll write it down later, but I tend to remember everything you say.” He cocks his head. “So what would you tell me if it was just me and just you?”
Just me and just you.He makes it sound so simple.
