“Henri.” Her name crawls up my throat as a plea.
“I need to go.” Her eyes remain on me as she steps up to the curb and hails a cab. The yellow car slots neatly into place, ready to whisk her away.
I’m frozen, as if the slush under my feet has crawled up over my shoes and solidified into blocks of ice.
Gripping the top of the door, she pauses, and for a moment I think she’ll turn back. But she doesn’t, disappearing into the back seat, leaving me out in the cold.
She’s gone. Just when I thought I had her.
But she was never mine to have.
15
Liam
Saturday and Sunday move by the same. I get up, check my phone for any evidence Henri will ever talk to me again, find none, and then wait until Jasmine leaves so I can go to the living room, turn onCriminal Minds,and finish the packing I’ve been putting off.Ever since the party I’ve been avoiding Jas, since I don’t want to fight with her and I’d also have to admit she was right.
Henri ran.
I’ll forgive Jasmine, eventually, but right now the wound is fresh.
I follow the same routine Monday morning, although there are texts on my phone, but not from Henri.
Pen
Dibs on picking Liam up from the airport tonight!
Mom
Just bring him back in one piece.
June
You just want to grill him and his girlfriend.
Pen
Excuse me for giving a damn.
I groan and type out a response before things can spiral further out of control.
Me
I’m getting a rental. See you when I get there.
The last time Pen agreed to drive me anywhere I found myself stranded for hours because she lost track of time on the slopes.
The text chain reminds me of what I should have been doing this weekend: packing. But the idea of the trip makes me sick to my stomach. We’re supposed to leave from JFK at 2 p.m., but I still haven’t heard back from Henri, and I’m only fifty percent sure she’s still coming. So that will be a fun thing to explain—being ghosted by my not-girlfriend before Christmas.
Why couldn’t I just leave it? Or not have made a big deal and kissed her at the party. I was just so angry at the thought of all her kisses being for show, and felt that she deserved romance and real fucking dates, as if I can give that to her when I’m planning on moving across the country.
I flop back against my pillows and consider smothering myself. Jasmine’s bedroom door creaks open, and a few secondslater it’s followed by the front door. At least I won’t have to face her until I get to work.
I’ve been at work for thirty minutes, and frankly, I wish I wasn’t here at all. Only half the staff is in today, since it’s remote-optional this close to the holidays. On my way in, I walked as fast as I could, rushing past the spot on the sidewalk where I kissed Henri. I’m in a hell of my own making.
At my desk, I checked to see what I needed to get started on, but all my other articles were submitted. So, for ten minutes, I stared at my notes. When that didn’t work, I plugged in my headphones to listen to our conversation at Moxy. I got to a part where she laughed at something I said and then played that back five times. Eventually, I pulled up a blank document and . . . Nothing.
A crinkled paper bag plops down next to where I’m resting my head on my desk, followed by a coffee. “Seems like you need this.”
