“Give it here, I will finish it!” The Colonel was quick to relieve her of her treat and replace her cheese toastie with a plate of sponge cake.
“Mrs Bingley, Mrs Hurst and I really must beg your cook for this receipt,” Mr Hurst said with more animation than anyone had ever noticed from him. “Rupert, would these not be perfect on those cold winter afternoons up north?”
“Indeed.” Mr Rupert Hurst seemed rather low, over near the window by himself. Without the attention of Mary, and after theterrifying warnings of the Colonel, the lure of Netherfield had begun to pall for the man, but he saw that Mr Bingley was correct, it would be a kindness to his host to amend his behaviour and repair his reputation before he left the village. He wondered how he would accomplish it.
“Mrs Bingley, nothing short of finding my family could have made my birthday as special as this,” Jane thanked Mrs Bingley sincerely, before enjoying the last cheese toastie at her host’s insistence. “Thank you so much.”
“Just wait until later.” Elizabeth stirred her tea. “My sister has decided to use your birthday as an occasion for her kitchens to practice before the ball and Christmas. She has so many guests coming from London, Mr Darcy’s and Mr Bingley’s connections, she wants to ensure that the kitchens are ready for such an event. So my parents, the Gardiners, the Lucases, the Collinses, and the Phillipses will join us tonight, and we will put the kitchen staff and footmen through their paces.”
A pleasant half hour later, most of the party was still in the drawing room, having broken up into small groups for conversation. The younger ladies were reading to one another. Elizabeth and Darcy were in close conversation together. Colonel Fitzwilliam was reading the most recent edition ofThe Compleat Angler,and Jane was working on Mrs Bingley’s wrap in a corner. Mr and Mrs Bingley were conversing near the fire about a tenant matter. Mrs Hurst was speaking with Mr Rupert Hurst, and her husband had promptly fallen asleep. Mrs Annesley had gone upstairs to rest before supper.
Jane watched Mr Hurst sit up with a confused snort a moment later, as everyone in the room heard a tremendous clamour from the hall.
“How dare you admit these low born women to the house before me! Do you know who I am!” A woman’s voice was screeching from the hallway.
“Why should we know whoyouare, you silly woman!” The tones ofMrs Bennet travelled down the hall. “Of course I was admitted before you, this is my daughter’s house!”
“I care not what low born personage lives in this hovel! I am here to speak with my nephew! Where is he! Where is Darcy!” The woman shouting in the hall sounded terribly irate, as if she might have an apoplexy at any moment. “Where is that scheming jezebel who aspires to steal the affianced groom of my daughter? The trollop who took my hospitality as her due, and then stole the very man my daughter was intended for? Where is Elizabeth Bennet? I demand to speak to her at once!”
Everyone in the drawing room was looking at one another in horror. Mr and Mrs Bingley appeared quite lost for words. Mr Darcy’s eyes were closed as if in pain, Georgiana had covered her face with her hands and was rocking and shaking her head. Colonel Fitzwilliam was grinning from ear to ear and giggling just a bit as he pulled a flask from his pocket and poured some brandy into his and Darcy’s tea cups.
“Isthatwho you are? The meddling patroness of my husband’s idiot cousin?” Mrs Bennet scoffed. “Well, who cares about whatyou think, that is what I say! Who areyou, here in Meryton society? No one cares a fig about you here in Hertfordshire, that is what I think! How dare you insult the home of my lovely daughter, Mrs Jane Bingley, the most beautiful woman for three counties, and the wife of a most doting and handsome husband! You will not insult her and then cross her threshold, that is whatIsay, not if I have anything to do with it!”
“I willspeak with my nephew!” Lady Catherine bellowed. “Hemustbe separated from Elizabeth Bennet, who I now understand to beyourdaughter. I will thank you for standing aside, madam. Since you have not taught your daughter to stay in her place, I will do it myself.”
“Oh fie! Who are you to have a say in my Lizzy’s match? I have heard all about this supposed cradle betrothal from my husband. It was discussed when Mr Darcyaskedfor my Lizzy. My husband is entirely satisfied that you have no proper claim to the boy. No more claim than my sister Mrs Phillips here has to direct Lizzy’s match–not that she would ever make such an attempt–would you, Harriet?”
“Of course not, sister, and besides, Lizzy has superb taste in gentlemen, if I may say so. She will hear no argument frommeregarding herchoice, even if he came without a farthing. Mr Darcy is obviously a man withmerits.”Darcy’s face flamed in front of the others, and Colonel Fitzwilliam gasped in hilarity and pounded the arm of his chair as they heard Mrs Phillips praise Darcy’s supposed manly virtues.
Lady Catherine addressed the butler next. “Sir, I will thank you for compelling these women to stand aside.Iam the daughter of an earl, and Iwillsee my nephew.”
“Mr Nicholls, if you eventhinkof such measures, I swear, I shall speak to your wifeandyour cook, and ensure that tripe is served in your servants’ hall for a twelvemonth, even if I have to butcher a cow every week myself!” Mrs Bennet warned. “Now, Lady Whoever-You-Are, I say that I willnotstand aside and allow you to insult my daughter and then enter her home! No, no, I shallnot!Now, you get back in your carriage, and you go back to Hunsford, or wherever it is you came from. No one cares about your opinions here. My Lizzy is to wed Mr Darcy, and I will run you out of this village before I allow you to interfere!”
“Bless your mother.” Darcy’s head dipped low to Elizabeth’s as he spoke. “I owe her another turban. Or a diamond parure.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam had slid out of his chair and was on the floor, hanging on the arm of the chair as he giggled uncontrollably. “Huzzah for Mrs Bennet!” he gasped. “Oh, if I had ten thousand more just like her on the continent, we should end every conflict in the work of a moment! I believe she could rout Old Boney!”
“Come now, cousin, we have subjected our poor hostess and her guests to more than enough terror and mortification.” Darcy stood and hauled Fitzwilliam to his feet. “Mrs Bingley, I cannot apologise enough for the poor behaviour of my kin.”
“Not at all, Mr Darcy. But I wonder, how did she know about your betrothal?” Mrs Bingley answered.
“That is an excellent question. Obviously my cousin must have written to her.” Elizabeth sighed. “Of course, he would not have been able to help himself.”
“I do not think so, Lizzy,” interrupted Jane. “Mr Collins told me at Longbourn that Mrs Collins advised him to speak to Mr Darcy directly, and that he was grateful he hadnotwritten to his patroness.”
“Oh whocareshow she found out,” Mrs Bennet dismissed thethought as she entered the room. “I will not allow that woman to even enter your home, Jane. Come and look at this Brussels lace that your Aunt Gardiner found in St Albans. Worked by nuns! Your Aunt Phillips and I simplyhad toshow it to you without delay, or we never would have made such a late afternoon call.”
“Thank you, Mama.” Mrs Bingley replied, as Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam left the drawing room to ensure their aunt left the village.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Later that evening,Jane entered the drawing room in a stunning turquoise gown given to her by Mrs Bingley.Lizzy must have told her my favourite colour too.If Jane had a gown likethisat home, she would never take it off.
She greeted the Bennets, the Gardiners, the Lucases, the Collinses, and the Phillipses, then took a seat at the piano, and began playing a light, easy tune that suited the conversations taking place in the room. Jane was touched by the insistence of her friends on celebrating her birthday, but she did not wish for too much attention. The light employment suited her, and she continued until Mr Nicholls announced dinner, then entered on the arm of Mr Collins, who seated her between Elizabeth and Mrs Collins.
The conversation, of course, centred around the robbery, and Lydia’s heroism. Mrs Bennet ensured that, but who could blame her? Once the first course was served and the servants had withdrawn, Mrs Bennet began to regale the table with the tale, referring back to Lydia constantly for details.
“And what happenedthen,Lydia dear?” Mrs Bennet asked as Jane and the others sipped their white soup. A short time later, the soup was removed, and replaced with plates of oysters.
