“We shall not have a moment to ourselves for a while, but wewillhave a chat before I leave Meryton,won’t we, Eliza?” her friend murmured in her ear as they exchanged affectionate greetings and Elizabeth was warmly welcomed inside by her friend’s family. If it were anyone else, Elizabeth coming at such a time would be unpardonablyrude, but everyone knew how much Charlotte and Elizabeth missed one another.
Elizabeth smiled and nodded as they went inside, and when they were all comfortable in the drawing room, she accepted a cup of tea from Lady Lucas, and enjoyed a quarter hour of conversation with her friends.
Mr Collins had not changed, she observed, sipping her tea. He still spoke of Lady Catherine excessively, but he also spoke endlessly of his wife, what a wonderful homemaker she was, how excessively content he found himself, and how blessed he felt to be in such circumstances. Charlotte bore him well, calming his panegyrics with light touches to his arm, or gentle looks, and it was obvious that her approval meant a great deal to him. Elizabeth considered her friend’s match as she listened to the Lucases express their joy at being together again. Even seeing now her cousin’s valiant efforts to please his wife in all things did not make her believe she ever could have lived with him as her husband, but it was quite clear that Charlotte was well pleased with her situation, and Elizabeth was happy for her that she did not find her husband too onerous to bear. When her cup was empty, she thanked her neighbours for their tolerance of her impatience to see dear Charlotte, pressed a bottle of rosewater Jane had made in her still room into Lady Lucas’s hand, and returned to Netherfield.
Twice later that day, Elizabeth wept. Twice she attempted to speak to Mr Darcy, and he cut her cruelly each time.
After returning from Lucas Lodge, Elizabeth was eager to change into a comfortable gown and visit the library. It made little sense to put on a morning gown and visit the library when she would have to change again in only a few hours. Many other ladies might have remained in their rooms to rest in a dressing gown until it was time to dress for dinner, but today a shipment of books had arrived that Mr Darcy helped her brother find at auction. The crates had been opened while she was gone, and she was eager to see the contents.
She was surprised to find the library emptywhen she entered.Only Charles would be so completely disinterested in a large shipment of books.She shook her head. It looked like she would be the only one making an inventory and catalogue of the books, and organising them on the shelves, but she looked forward to the endeavour. She felt rather guilty living with Jane and being a burden to her sister’s husband, though the two of them swore they were both delighted to have her with them. Charles assured her that she did not cost him a tenth as much as Miss Bingley, or even Mrs Hurst, who was technically another man’s wife and should cost him nothing. Elizabeth decided that until her sister’s children came, she would serve as Netherfield’s librarian, for it appeared that one would be sorely needed.
Elizabeth examined one book, then another in delight, then whirled at a noise behind her. “Mr Darcy!”
Darcy’s face was like stone, and he stopped short in the doorway, unwilling to enter further. “Forgive me, I did not mean to disturb you.”
“You do not disturb me at all, Mr Darcy,” Elizabeth attempted to assure him. “I am certain you must be interested to see the order of books. They are nothing to the library of Pemberley of course–but still–one does not get to explore such a collection every day.”
“Please.” His tone was sharper than she had ever heard it as he raised his hands in front of him. “I had thought to be alone.”
Elizabeth gasped and drew back as if struck. “Then allow me to leave you to it. You found the books for Charles. You should be the first to look them over. I would hate to intrude where I am not welcome. Please have a servant inform me when you deem it convenient for me to enter my sister’s library.”
She saw him close his eyes as if in pain as she fled past him, but he did not correct her, nor call her back.
Later that night, after Elizabeth had suffered, unhearing, barely participating, through dinner, she finally decided that she must find a way to make peace with Mr Darcy, or they would only both keep suffering. They could not continue on as they were.
An hour and a half after the men had returned from the diningroom, when the card games had quieted, everyone was paired into groups, relishing the evening with those they enjoyed conversing with best.
Elizabeth finally mustered her courage and approached Mr Darcy, who was alone reading in the corner. Bingley and Jane were laughing and playing a party game with Colonel Fitzwilliam, Georgiana, Miss Jane, and Miss Annesley. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst spoke of plans for Miss Bingley’s wedding, and Mr Hurst, his brother, and Captain Arundel were playing cards.
“Mr Darcy, it grieves me that you and I are quite obviously not at peace with one another, and I fear that perhaps there has been a misunderstanding. I wondered if you are going to be taking any walks soon so that we might discuss it privately. If I have wronged you, then I wish to apologise mos-”
“Wronged me?” he snapped, his voice a low growl. “No, Miss Bennet. You have notwronged me,and there have been no misunderstandings. You merely…chose the wiser course. I assure you that I comprehend your message perfectly.”
Elizabeth’s breath caught. “You know nothing of my choices.”
“Nor do I wish to.” He rose from his chair and stalked purposefully from the room.
Elizabeth realised that their encounter had been seen by half the room. Jane and Bingley both appeared confused, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Georgiana worried, and Miss Jane sympathetic. Giving thanks that Miss Bingley was now so wrapped up in herself that she hardly noticed anyone else anymore, Elizabeth fled to her room.
Chapter Eight
DARCY
Tuesday 8 December1812
Darcy was quiet as he, Bingley, and Fitzwilliam enjoyed a game of billiards an hour or two after breakfast. Bingley had plans with his wife soon, and did not wish to stray far from the house. Darcy felt that he had been reticent since he arrived, and his friend Bingley had barely noticed that Richard carried most of the conversation. It was unfair of him, he knew, to expect Bingley to notice that the ever reserved Darcy might be even quieter than usual. Not when he was newly married and in love with his beautiful wife, and with so many other guests in his house. Bingley had other matters to think about.
And it was not as if Darcy trulywishedfor Bingley to notice, for the last thing Darcy wanted to do was talk about his problems. He was obliged to do that far more than his wont with Richard, who could not let the matter go, and was certain it could all be salvaged. Richard was only attempting to repair the damage done when he spoke of Darcy’s affairs without permission to Miss Bennet and fixed her hatred for him forever. Darcy had done badly enough on his own without Richard’s help; he needed no more assistance in making matters worse.
Worse still, he suspected that Richard had discussed Miss Bennet with Georgiana. He would never have expected his closest confidant to be so loose with his affairs before, but Richard seemed to regard Georgiana as an equal over the last year, and spoke to her like one. He saw the two of them watching and worrying about him constantly, exchanging looks when he was forced by society to interact with Elizabeth.
One might think I was her father and that Richard was her brother.That was not too far off the mark. For since she had been young, even though Richard was two years older, Darcy had been the one guiding her each day. Richard played the carefree older brother, writing letters and visiting from the continent like a conquering hero. His cousin was not wrong to treat Georgie more maturely. It was necessary for her to trust them, and for them to learn to trust her again, especially after her experience in Ramsgate. Darcy only objected to his heartache being the focus of his little sister’s concern for him. And he could do with a great deal more discretion from Richard.
“Darcy… Daaarrrrcccyyyy…DARCY!”Darcy was startled from his reverie to find his cousin and his friend staring at him.
“I beg your pardon,” Darcy snapped to attention. “I was woolgathering.”
“Bingley has been talking to you about the eastern boundary for at least three minutes,” Richard informed him with no little amusement. “And it is your turn.”
