Happiness.
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” I say, tapping her little button nose.
She uses a hand to zip her lips, locking it and stuffing the hand in her pocket before shaking her head.
I chuckle. “Our little secret, hey, sweetheart.”
She snuggles into me, small arms sliding around my neck as I ascend the stairs. With a quick bath and towel-down, she’s ready for bed. I tuck her in snug as a bug in a rug style, just like Quin does.
As I go to leave, she slips one arm from her confines and grabs my wrist. “CC?”
I turn back. “Yeah, baby?”
“Stay.”
Stay?
“Okay, just for a little while.” I sit on the edge of her bed, but she pats the pillow. I lay down and she wiggles closer, her small hand slipping into mine.
“I miss Daddy,” she whispers, her face falling from joy to sadness in a heartbeat.
I give her hand a squeeze and roll over, hugging her into my chest. Running my hand over her head, I sigh. “Me too, sweetheart.”
She sniffles, and it’s now I feel her little body shake with a sob.
“This is the first time you and Daddy have been apart?” I ask.
She nods against my chest.
“That’s tough, kiddo.”
Especially since it’s always been her and Quin against the world. She doesn’t know an existence without him around.
“You know what, a long time ago, I felt a little like you are now.”
“Your daddy was gone, too?” she asks, her big brown eyes, now soaked with tears, drifting up.
“My mom was. And I was so sad. But you know what?”
“What,” she utters, her hands close around my own as I brush a damp strand from her face.
“Snuggles always helped.”
I cuddle her against me tight, tickling her ribs until she is giggling and wriggling, making a mess of her blankets.
I give her a reprieve, pushing up on one elbow as I roll toward her. “You’re not alone, Maise. I’m right here. You need me, just say so, okay?”
“You promise?” Maise settles down again, cuddling into me.
“I promise,” I say, kissing the top of her head.
“Always?” she whispers.
The last breath catches in my throat.
Always... in this life where we have so little control over so many things.
But those are grown-up thoughts and worries.
