“You tried to move her?”
“I try moving that lady every year and she won’t go. She says she still needs to be able to be found.”
Nyna smirked bitterly and looked into the distance. “She’s still waiting for my mother to pop back up. And then there’s her garden, reminds her of Veya. She’s not going to leave.”
“I honestly can’t stay another night in that house,” DJ shard. His admission heavy. “Big Mama fills up most of my days if I’m not at the shop or handling shit. And when everything goes quiet all I got is fuckin’ memories. Nothing new. Just what it used to be. And then beating myself up for what it could’ve been.”
“We can’t live in that cycle anymore. It’s going to drive me crazy if I don’t get off of the ride.”
“I’m all in. Tell me one thing you wanted to do for the last three years?”
Nyna released his hand and opened the door. “You trust me?”
“I’ll follow you off a cliff if we being real,” he spoke killing the engine.
“Good.” Nyna started off toward the water taking off clothes every step closer to the waves coming in. By the time DJ reached her she was in her bra and panties running into the water.
DJ still with his gun tucked in the back of his pants, chain tucked under his dress shirt and flag stuffed into his back pocket watched as she let the water crash against her body. There wasn’t any fear in her being and the woman he missed was appearing again.
These were the moments Nyna longed for. The moments where DJ offered her stillness and protection as she grounded herself. Nyna allowed each gentle push of the waves flow over her to wash away all the weight she’d been carrying. Grief, guilt,sorrow, depression, fear and anxiety could not come out of this water with her. Not if she wanted to start living. Though they experienced death together, there was so much life to be lived and it was meant to be lived side by side.
six
DJ
He stood at the entrance of her door silently taken in inventory of her size, what she needed, and how he was going to manage having her back in his life. That was the most important thing. Phoenix wasn’t there to give him guidance. Veya wasn’t around to nudge him in the right direction. For as cool as he was it was a front to hide how out of sorts Nyna made him. She’d have him swimming across the ocean if she said so. He would’ve launched himself into space for her. Walked through fires and wore his scars as honor knowing that she was the prize. Nyna was what the OG’s said would make a nigga’s nose open and have them make her their ol’ lady. Houses, lives, and men were built for women like this.
“Are you staring at me all night to make sure I don’t fly away?” Nyna posed with a yawn.
“I put your stuff in here yesterday and just knew Big Mama had her eyes on me,” DJ laughed stepping into the room. “You know she told me if I knocked you up she was going to knock my head off.”
Nyna laughed softly. “She’s so scared of us ending up like our mother. The minute she saw you and PJ she knew it was a wrap.She had to hold on to us and what better way to do it than to threaten your life.”
“Threaten?” DJ asked with a laugh. “You know your granddaddy was one of the biggest Azul Hearts, right?”
Nyna nodded. She never got to meet him, but he lived in the stories Big Mama told about him. There was always a hint of sadness in her tone when she did. He died on death row, the price for murdering the man who violated his woman. If no one knew what the streets took from you it was Big Mama. She lost the love of her life and their child to the streets and she refused for her granddaughters to follow the same path. But it was a generational curse that was finally being broken.
“I know,” Nyna shared climbing into the bed, DJ still an appropriate distance away out of respect and partial fear of the monarch.
“Then you know like I know it wasn’t a threat. It was a promise. I was going to be headless. What were you going to stare at then?”
She giggled again. “I would’ve had to find someone else.”
He kissed his teeth. “In front my headless body?”
“In front of your headless body.” Nyna smiled without thought or quiver. “You’re not laying down with me?”
He swayed his head. “I’ll take the couch. Not because I don’t want to. I want to. More than lay with you. But I don’t want you regretting it in the morning, so I’ll be on the couch. Goodnight, Nyna.”
“Night Dom.”
He forced himself out of the room and into the hall bathroom where he showered and changed into the sweats he had stashed in a bag in the back of his car. By the time he was out, Nyna was sound asleep holding onto a pillow breathing ever so softly like restful sleep had been far and few between. He knew it was.
Grabbing a blanket and pillow from the hall closet, he trekked to the living room and laid on the couch. The stillness of the house had him staring at the ceiling feeling his lids get heavy. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been sleep before he felt the covers pull back and Nyna’s weight rest against him. Tiredly, he pulled one eye open finding her snuggled between him and the cushions of the couch. Inhaling her scent he kissed the top of her head and let sleep fully take over him.
The sun danced through the curtains and gracing his face with the warmth. Nyna was still secure at his side and lowly thanked Big Mama for making him push this big ass couch into her living room in seven different boxes. He pushed the curls out of her face and kissed her forehead. One lead to two and then three. By the forth peck against her smooth skin she lifted her chin up so he could kiss her pouty lips. Gracing her with one and then two, he reached over to cup her chin – admiring her. That toasty brown skin. Full lips, proportioned nose, big bright eyes and high cheek bones – he could stare at her forever.
She was little smaller than she left but that was an easy fix. Good love and good food was the cure to make the curves fill out just right. As he gently swiped his thumb over her bottom lip he asked, “you letting me come back for more?”
