He wasn’t about to expand on that and say she was the reason for his sleeplessness.That even though he’d spent a total of about three hours in her presence, she’d made an impact on him that he was doing his best to recover from.
Her lips firmed into a thin line.This Tilly was like a mama bear protecting her cub.“You should go home.You need sleep.This can wait.I’ll start making lists and looking into what permits I need.When you’re ready, you call me and we can meet up again.”
Did she know she’d given him a really big out right then?
Call when he was ready?How about never?
No, he wouldn’t do that to her.If either his captain or the mayor found out he wasn’t pulling his weight, things could become very difficult for him.But he couldn’t deny that he was exhausted.That he was seeing double, and that wasn’t good.Fatigue was a major killer in both the workplace and on the road.He’d seen plenty of accidents as a paramedic before he’d trained to be a hotshot firefighter.
“Are you sure?Because I could push through.”With a gallon of coffee, maybe.
“I doubt it.”Tilly stood, and again musk wafted through the air.What was that scent she was wearing?Did she know how alluring it was?
No, he didn’t think so.There was nothing seductive about the way she’d been acting toward him, not like some of the women he’d spent time with over the years.They’d only wanted one thing—a way to get close to his mom in the hope she would help advance their careers.Little did they know, his mom had no interest in wannabe actresses.
Once, he’d thought he’d found someone who wanted him for him, but he’d been wrong, and ever since his relationship with Ruth, he’d stayed away from getting serious with another woman.Ruth had shown him that calculation and determination could be hidden quite successfully beneath the covers of sweetness and light.Her fake concern about his job was just her trying to get him to change his career to something more palatable and suitable for the son of a famous TV personality.
“Well, are you coming?”Tilly asked, standing at the door of the conference room.
“Won’t the mayor be upset that we haven’t made any progress?You yourself said the other night that it was a tight timeline.”
“Let me handle Chelsea.Besides, this is my baby.It’s up to me to make it work.Ihaveto make it work.”
Zach zeroed in on the way she emphasized ‘have.’It reminded him of their dinner and how she’d made a passing comment about proving something to everyone.At the time her comment hadn’t made much sense, but after his conversation with his captain, he understood it now.
As much as he wanted to reassure her that everything would work out fine, his brain was tired.He was tired.He was of no use to anyone in this state.“Okay, but I’ll call you tonight, after I’ve had a few hours’ sleep.Maybe we can meet up for a late dinner or something.”
Where had that invitation come from?Wasn’t he going to use the escape key she’d given him?
“I’ve got a better idea.Why not come to my place and I’ll fix us something?”She looked at her watch.“It’s almost four now.How much sleep do you think you’ll need?”
Twelve hours would be ideal, but unlikely, and not his usual way.“I try and get into a normal sleep habit as soon as possible, so I think I can get away with about a three-hour nap.”
“Three hours?I’d be a zombie if I only got that much sleep.I have to have at least six hours.Ideally, I’d love eight or nine, but I’d have to go to bed earlier than I do to achieve that.”
“It took a while to get into a routine, but when you do a forty-eight-hour shift, you train your body to power nap and sleep hard, so that you are functional when it comes to dealing with fires.”
Her expression softened.“I admire you and anyone who works as a first responder.I’m sure you’ve seen things that a normal person couldn’t cope with.”
Zach closed his eyes for a second.Talking about what he’d seen and done wasn’t easy.The way the orange flames licked hungrily at trees and buildings.The realization that not everyone had come out alive.The sound of the fire as it roared over him those times he and his hotshot team had to take cover when the fire they were fighting suddenly changed direction.Fortunately, that hadn’t occurred often.He’d said plenty of prayers the first time he’d had to use his shelter.“It’s not easy,” he finally said, opening his eyes to lock with hers again.“I wouldn’t do anything else, though.”
Something flashed in Tilly’s eyes, so quickly that he couldn’t make out what emotion it was.“You’re following your passion.”
There was something unsaid there, but he was too tired to try to pick it apart so that he could find out what it was.Maybe later, when he’d had some sleep, he would work it out.“I need to go,” he said.
“Of course.”Tilly pulled a piece of paper out of her binder and wrote on it.“Here’s my address and cell number.Call when you’re about to leave, and I’ll make sure dinner is hot by the time you arrive.”
A hot meal—such a simple gesture, but something no one had done for him in a long time.He grew up in a house with a housekeeper, so he always had hot meals.The difference between those and the one Tilly was giving him was—she wanted to give it to him.It wasn’t a requirement, like it had been for the housekeeper.And she was going to sit with him while he ate, unlike the housekeeper, who always disappeared into her quarters.Having dinner with his mom was a rarity.When he was young, she’d been out working or wining and dining with associates.After her star had fallen, she’d taken jobs overseas that paid ridiculous amounts and were for B-grade movies and shows.
Now he knew that she’d been doing it to try to keep herself relevant and a roof over their heads, but when he was a kid, he’d just wanted his mom there when he went to bed.Or when he was sick.
What would it be like to come home after all his shifts to someone waiting for him?It was a thought he hadn’t allowed himself to think because of what he did, who he was, and what had happened to him in the past.
His job was still as dangerous as when he had been on the hotshot crew, making anyone he got involved with vulnerable to being alone, should something happen.Not to mention the other part of his life, where whoever he was with could live under the microscope of being related to Kathryn Lancaster.
Tilly Bloom was making him have second thoughts about his life, and he wasn’t sure that was a good thing.Right now, he was tired and needed sleep.Could he let himself believe he could have a happy ever after?
Chapter Six
