Mara
I know you’re busy.
Rory
I don’t want to be too busy for my family.
Mara
You won’t always be. This is a season in your life, that’s all.
Rory
I feel selfish.
Mara
Oh, sweetness. Don’t worry about that. Sometimes we need to be selfish in this world to get what we want.
Rory
Ahhh it’s so hard to remember that and not feel guilty
Mara
Will I see you at Christmas?
Rory
Absolutely, I already have that week blocked off
Mara
I’ll be sure to remind you then
An alarm goes off on my phone. A reminder to myself to eat dinner. Shit. I race to the cafeteria, thinking about what my aunt said the whole way.
She was talking about work. I agree with her that it’s good for girls—women—to be selfish and protect their dreams.
But when I told her I feel selfish, I mean it in more ways than just that.
Since I can’t very well ask her about how to manage whatever this is I’m doing with Garrett, that only leaves me one person to consult on the question pinging around in my brain.
On a scale of one to incredibly selfish, how terrible am I being using you for sex?
Can I ask him that?
Fuck it.
I type it out and hit send.
Garrett
You aren’t terrible
Rory
It’s messed up, though
