A million times worse was an understatement.
At his side, his hands flexed, and then he surged forward, and she pushed off the counter, and his hands were in her hair. He bowed his head and touched his forehead to hers.
She breathed his name.
“Kiss me,” he said on a desperate exhale, and before he finished the demand, she pushed up and her lips claimed his.
This was the rush of cool water he’d been craving. Pure oxygen, and as if every part of his body had been in stasis, waiting to be revived. Waiting for his wife.
He groaned against her and deepened the kiss, tasting her sweetness, her soft mouth, her clever tongue that made his head swim. She kissed him right back, swallowing everything pouring out of him. His need, his want, his desire, and even, God damn it, his fear. Her arms came up around his neck, and as he curved over her, she gave him more.
She gave him toughness. Tension coiled in her body, giving me something to steel his arms around. A little fight, but the good kind. A tussle for who was leading this kiss, who was in charge.
And then an explosion, as he hoisted her up on the kitchen counter and dragged her hips right to the edge, so he could wedge himself between her legs and make it crystal clear just how much she still made his body burn.
* * *
Monica was on fire,and she loved it. In Josh’s arms, with his mouth consuming her and his hips perfectly position between her thighs, she could trick her brain into thinking this was a completely different timeline. One where the last three years hadn't been filled with grief and processing and newly constructed healthy boundaries. A timeline where Josh had been her husband for years.
Because that was how right it felt for him to haul her into his arms. How right it felt to breathlessly command him to kiss her.
And the relief she felt when he did…that wasn’t a fantasy timeline. That was her, right now, wanting this kiss. Even as she knew it complicated things so much.
She’d wanted this kiss for a very long time.
“Take me to bed,” she whispered against his mouth.
He tightened his hold on her, skating his hands down her back to cup her ass, and he picked her up. She wound her limbs tightly around him and clung as he carried her to his bed.
It wasn’t fair to do this. But it wasn’t fair to either of them, and yet she knew they both needed it.
There was no right way to end a marriage that never happened. She wouldn’t deny herself these final few hours in his arms.
This time, when he lay down with her, it wasn’t side by side, on their backs. This time, he pulled the blankets back and tumbled on top of her, pressing her to the mattress, his hands big against her wrists. Big, strong, sure.
“I don’t have any condoms.” He kissed her. “We can do anything else you want, though.”
“I…” She nodded, her heart in her throat. “Okay.”
“It’s not a line. I don’t have any reason to have them.”
She shook her head. They didn’t need to talk about— “What?”
“Never mind. Just…” He slid his hand under her shirt and groaned. “God, you feel good. Can I…?”
“Yes. Anything.” She was panting.
He reared up long enough to turn on the bedside lamp. “Want to see every inch of you.”
Then he peeled the t-shirt up and bowed his head, pressing his mouth right between her breasts. His hot breath was like an electric shock and her back jolted off the mattress. He murmured something she couldn’t hear over the rush of blood through her ears, something soothing, and then he cupped one breast in a hand and took the other in his mouth.
She closed her eyes and gave in to the pleasure of his tongue pulling against her nipple. Long, savouring sucks, and then a slow, wet release that sounded filthy.
Not quite as filthy as his groan as he switched sides. Not quite as filthy as the way she rocked her hips up, desperately needing contact with him everywhere. Her nipples, her bare belly, her aching, needy clit.
Panting his name, she pushed and pulled at his sweatpants until she got her hand inside. And then it was his turn to react like he’d been electrocuted when she wrapped her fingers around his heavy, solid cock.
Oh.
