He crossed the hall to where she was standing at the nursing station. “Good following there. On the road.”
She nodded without looking up. “Good driving.”
“I’m glad we can work together.”
That got her attention, but not in a good way. Her gaze snapped up, her brown eyes cool and hard. “Why wouldn’t we be able to?”
Regret foamed at the back of his mouth. “No reason. You would never make a choice for a patient based on your own comfort.”
“Not only that, I’m perfectly comfortable working with you.” She frowned. “Wouldn’t you say the same thing about me?”
Of course he would. But he found himself tongue-tied all over again, like their months of being close had never happened. His heart might as well have been ripped from his chest in that moment, not that Kerry would notice. His mouth moved uselessly, silently, as she pushed herself to the full extent of her five-foot-nothing frame.
“Well, I guess I’ll be the professional for both of us. I will be happy to see you on any future calls I have to make, Owen Kincaid. You’re a great paramedic.” And with that, she stepped around him, and disappeared into Alyssa’s room.
Never before had a compliment stung quite so sharply.
I love you, and miss you.Useless words. Empty words.
Matt ambled up the hallway. “Everything okay?”
No. And it might never be again. “Let’s get out of here.”
* * *
His house was soempty that when he dropped his bag on the floor the sound echoed off the walls. Nothing had changed since that morning, when he’d gotten the foolish idea he was ready to pretend he was a whole man again.
It was tempting to flop out on the couch again. Eventually, though, someone would find him there, surrounded by empty Jim Beam bottles and pizza boxes, and force him to take a shower. Eat some oatmeal. He needed to short-circuit that pattern. He could cook himself some oatmeal, but frankly, he’d had enough, and it just reminded him of baking his girlfriend cookies.
He’d never even called her his girlfriend. Once, he’d called her his woman. They’d barely had any time together in the end. Almost an entire year of wanting her, and he’d fucked it up just as she was falling in love with him.
Owen: Can we have a team meeting?
Becca: You, me, and … Mom?
Owen: I was thinking more you, me, and Charlie. Do you feel like company from your old man?
Becca: Always.
He threw on his coat and headed out the door.
* * *
Kerry didn’t go homethat night. She crashed on a cot at the hospital rather than risk driving tired on the newly icy roads in the dark. Winter was coming in more ways than one. So she stuck around to do the twenty-four hour wellness check on Alyssa and her new baby boy mid-afternoon.
The young mom had an easy delivery, but had developed some signs of pre-eclampsia afterwards, and was now in the care of an OB. She would stay in the hospital for at least two more days. “I’ll see you at home once you’re discharged, and you have my pager number if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Kerry.” Alyssa gave her a tired smile. “Now go home.”
But the thing was, she didn’t want to.
Her apartment was lonely and full of memories of Owen. She avoided looking at the wall inside her front door now, the spot that used to give her warm, fuzzy secret feelings when she looked at it.Right here.
Would she take it all back, knowing this was how it would end?
But she had known. And she did it anyway, so there were no take backs. She threw herself into her bed, her heart aching for the man who’d shared it all too briefly, and fell asleep again.
When she woke up, it was dark, and there was a text message on her phone.
