He shrugged. “I’m shooting blanks now. I got a vasectomy a decade ago, when I knew I wouldn’t want any more kids. I thought it might help with the dating thing, because I never wanted that kind of surprise again. Turned out I had other trust issues that made it all more complicated.”
A vasectomy.
Oh.
He searched her face. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” She would be.
Why didn’t she know that he’d been snipped?Years ago. This whole time, everything they had shared with each other, why didn’t she knowthat?
“Kerry…” He sighed and curled up next to her. They were both still naked.
She pulled the sheet up over her body. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I just thought you’d be upset.”
“I’m not.” He kissed her temple and ran his fingers through her hair. “We just hadn’t had that talk, that’s all.”
“Right.”
But her heart didn’t feel the same as it had just minutes before. It was bruised, and she wanted to cry.
She didn’t. She rolled into Owen’s warmth and let him hold her. She breathed in the scent of his skin and told herself it would be easier to think about in the morning.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The next day,Kerry moved back to her apartment.
Her heart didn’t feel any less bruised, but that wasn’t why she moved back, she told herself. It was time. The parking lot was open again.
Owen said she could leave stuff in his drawers for sleepovers, but she packed everything up. Deep down, she knew she wasn’t coming back, and she was sick over it. This wasn’t fair—she’d known Owen didn’t want any more kids. He’d told her those days were behind him. She’d known, deep down, that he would never be the guy to have her own babies with.
And yet she felt blindsided.
She was beating herself up for that, too. How could she be so foolish? And how could she be so harsh on him?
He clearly thought the vasectomy was no big deal, because he’d never mentioned it to her. Not once. She’d remember that, oh boy. Andthatwas the problem. He was too sure. Too cool. And that was entirely his right. His body, his choice, and probably none of her business—up to a point. She’d feel the same way in his shoes. But she wasn’t in his shoes. Andhershoes really wanted babies.
Her heart had been in denial, and now she knew what she already knew. Owen really, really never wanted babies.
What was she doing falling in love with him? Playing house? Would he want to keep fucking her if she had a baby on her own, with sperm donation? No.
Their relationship had to end. It would end, at some point in the not too distant future, so it needed to end now.
How could she tell him? What could she say?You’re a wonderful man. You are a wonderful father. I would love to make babies with someone like you—with you, in fact, but you don’t want that. You really, really don’t want that. You made a permanent decision to make sure that never happened to you again, and I had no idea.
Maybe we weren’t as important to each other as I thought we were.
With each turn through her ever darkening thoughts, she whirled from angry to sad to fine,Definitely Fine, to lost, and then back to angry.
She didn’t want to be angry at Owen. That wasn’t fair.
But it wasn’t fair to her heart to stay with someone who could never be a part of her future the way she wanted them to be.
Hands shaking, she text Jenna.
Kerry: SOS. Are you free tonight?
Jenna: What do you need?
