“You’re more than dating,” he confessed. “You’re—this—I jumped into the deep end. I was going to wade in, get my toes wet.”
“Keep it casual?”
“When you say it like that, it sounds shallow.” He slowly shook his head. “I don’t know if what I wanted was legitimate, or if that was fear talking. But I had a plan, and it got blown out of the water. That rocked me for longer than I like to admit, because I was so afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Watching Becca repeat the hardest years of my life.”
“What was the worst that could have happened when you were her age?”
He barked out a cold laugh. “Losing custody of her. That was my greatest fear, you know, right up until her eighteenth birthday. Losing her.”
“She’s a grown-up now.”
“Barely.” He dragged in a breath. “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I just felt like once I moved back here and Rachel and I split custody—and then once she got re-married, and she and Hudson had more kids—everything felt constantly precarious. Like any second they would decide they wanted Becca to live with them full-time, because it would be a better home life. Even though Rachel told me over and over again that she appreciated how much time I wanted with Becca, it never really sank in.”
“And Becca adores you.”
“Being worshiped by your kid doesn’t make you a good parent. Letting your kid party as a teenager doesn’t make you a good parent. Your kid getting knocked up just the same way you did definitely doesn’t make you a good parent.” His voice cracked. “I am not a good parent, Kerry, and I’ve known that since the minute she was born. I spent eighteen years waiting to be called on that shit.”
“That’s a huge weight.”
“I never said any of that out loud. Not to anyone.”
“I’m glad you told me.” She climbed on top of him, straddling him, and presssed her forehead against his, trying to show him with her body how much she liked him, exactly the way he was. How much she wanted to be close to him, always, but especially when he shared scary stuff. That none of his fears were scary to her.
“I’ll be a better grandparent,” he said softly, and it broke her heart.
“You are a great dad, Owen.”
“Eh,” he said. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter now, I guess. Can we pretend I didn’t just dump all of that on you?”
She shook her head with a smile. “Nope. I liked all of it. It’s good to say our fears out loud.”
“I guess.” He rubbed his hands over her hips. “Do you want to sleep over?”
She let him change the subject. She let him grind her body against his and take the intimacy she was so willing to give him. She nipped at his lower lip. “All night?”
“All night,” he repeated. “I want to reach for you in the middle of the night and find out you’re slick for me.”
She shivered. “I didn’t bring my toothbrush. Or my pills.”
“I have a stockpile of toothbrushes. What time do you have to take the pill?”
“Eight.”
His mouth brushed against her neck, his tongue strong and sure. “I’ll get you up. Or we could go and pack you a bag now. Or I could come to your place. Or you could tell me to shut—”
“Shut up,” she whispered, tightening her fingers in his hair as he kissed his way onto her chest. He tugged down the neckline of her tee, finding the curve of her bra. More shivers as he grazed the line where bare skin met see-through gauze, then roughly covered her whole breast with his hand. Her nipple beaded hard against his palm.
His movements were jerkier than usual, a little bit desperate and a lot demanding. Like he couldn’t get enough of her as clothes dropped off. He sucked her breasts into his mouth, as much flesh as possible until she ached between her legs, until she needed him to fuck her senseless.
Then he carried her into his room, spread her out on his king-sized bed, and loomed large over her. He watched her touch herself, his gaze hooded and hot, as he grabbed protection, then he was pressing into her.
No more foreplay. Her first orgasm of the evening would be on his cock, and it was barrelling toward her like a freight train already. Owen’s hands clamped down on her wrists, his thighs pressing her legs apart, and she gave herself over to him and the wild, rolling sensations.
He was such a good man, and he fucked like a beast possessed. It was a wicked combination that did dangerous things to her heart.
