“That might change in the future.”
“Did it change for you?” She might as well have asked him if she wasn’t enough for him.
His inhale was rough and ragged. He didn’t want to answer that question.
“Dad, I don’t feel shortchanged by this life we have. For a while now I’ve wondered if you thought I did, if you thought maybe you didn’t give me enough of something. But… Doyoufeel shortchanged?”
He couldn’t breath.
And he couldn’t tell her to stop. This was her life to examine, too. His life was her life. Fuck.
“It’s okay.”
A tear slid down his face. Fuck. “No it’s not.”
“Yeah.” Her voice went quiet. Impossibly soft. “You’re free now. You can do whatever you want."
“Becca, I like having you and Charlie here.” It was the God’s honest truth, and it took him by surprise. He didn’t doubt she wouldn’t believe him. He hadn’t given her any reason to.
“But you also want your own space. You’ve never had that. I see you.” Her soft words were an echo of his own observation when he got home. For so long, it had been just the two of them, a dyad surrounded by a larger, loving family. But when it came right down to it, day in day out, Owen had been the role model for Becca. He’d taught her to watch and take note, and she’d used it to see right through him.
Regret filled his mouth, his throat. “I never wanted to make you think…”
“You didn’t.” She smiled softly. “You taught me that it’s possible to be very happy with a compromise in life.”
“You aren’t a compromise.” His heart was breaking. Actual, shattered pieces fell apart in his chest, spearing him sharply in the most random of places. “I’m so sorry I ever gave you that impression.”
“Life is nothing but compromises, because we can’t have everything we want. That’s just not how it works. We can’t gorge ourselves on happiness. There are costs, and they are worth it.Thatis what you taught me. Right?”
He nodded numbly.
“You’ve always been there for me. Don’t stop now.”
Fuck. That was the thing, right there. He didn’t get to pick when he was on Team Becca. “I’m sorry, kiddo. You’re right. If Hayden makes you happy, then I’ll deliver you to him myself.”
“I’m not moving out tonight.”
“Oh, thank God.” He heaved a rough exhale in relief and hauled her into his chest. “Come here.”
“Already here,” she mumbled against his shoulder.
“I love you so much,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m always on your side. Whatever you need.”
* * *
A few hours later,Owen was lying alone in the dark, not sleeping but not worrying—exactly—when his phone lit up.
Kerry: How’d your evening turn out?
He’d told her he needed to talk to Becca and then…nothing. Should he have updated her? But there was a different relationship there because of the midwifery, so maybe boundaries were better.
Owen: My daughter is all grown up. We had a good talk. She amazes me.
Kerry: Yay.
Kerry: Are you in bed now? Was it too late to text?
Owen: Never too late. And yeah, trying to sleep. Sort of. I was wide awake, though. How about you?
