“The last thing she said to me when we broke up was,love makes us stupid.And I just stood there. I heard her admit that she loved me, that she’d been with mebecause she loved me, even though we were all wrong for each other, and I turned on my heel and walked out on her.”
“Shit.”
“The thing is—the worst part? My first reaction, as the stunned stupid ox that I am, was who said anything about love?” He shook his head. “That kept reverberating in my head, even as I knew that of course I loved her, too. We never said it to each other. I think deep down I knew, but when she said it I was still shocked. I should have stayed and fought for her. Tried to work through the problems. I don’t deserve her. But I miss her, and I love her, and I never got a chance to say that.”
His brother’s mouth dropped open. “Wow.”
“That’s all you’ve got?”
“It’s just…so much.”
He was miserable. “I know. And she’s made it crystal clear she’s moved on. And she’s been really kind, actually.” Owen’s chest hurt. “So I can’t ignore that, but the thing is…”
Footsteps from the side of the building interrupted him, and Josh looked almost relieved. When Adam appeared, Josh pointed. “Get Adam’s thoughts, because I’m the last guy to give good advice when it comes to mending relationships.”
Owen frowned. “Why is that, exactly?”
“Not the subject of our conversation today.” Josh filled Adam in, and hearing the bullet points of his breakup with Kerry repeated back was just the bruising one-two punch Owen deserved.
The youngest Kincaid frowned. “We’re missing something. Kerry was head over heels for you a month ago. What happened?” The back of Owen’s neck got hot as Adam looked back and forth between him and Josh. “What else did you do?”
“Kerry wants kids,” Owen admitted, his voice cracking. “We broke up because she found out I got fixed.”
“Ah, man, no.” Josh groaned.
“You didn’t tell her up front?” Adam asked.
Owen scrubbed a hand over his face. “No. It didn’t occur to me.”
“You knew she wanted kids, and…just dodged that conversation for the entire duration of your relationship?”
“It wasn’t that long of a relationship.” Owen’s voice cracked as he said it. “We were still in the having fun stage, and yes, I know how fucking stupid that sounds in retrospect. We talked around it, though. She was Becca’s midwife, for God’s sake. She knows my life.”
“Well, I don’t know what we’re doing here,” Adam said. His brows were two dark thunderclouds above his glaring eyes. “I think you misled her and she’s right to be done with you. You should have been upfront with her about being done with kids.”
“That’s the thing,” Owen said, his throat dry. “I don’t think I am.”
“You don’t think? With a question mark on it?”
How could his mouth be bone dry and his hands slick with sweat at the same time? “No question mark.”
“This cannot be a thing you do to get a girl back.”
“I know that. It’s not.”
Adam looked skeptical. One day, he would realize everything he’d prioritized in life was ass-backwards, and it might be a woman who unlocked that epiphany for him—but if it stuck, it would be a product of his own mind.
At least, that’s how this was playing out for Owen.
He wasn’t changing his mindforKerry, but he might be changing it because of her. Because of how she looked at Charlie, how she looked with Charlie in her arms absolutely. Maybe that was the moment his subconscious had started a drumbeat of its own.Raise more kids. Raise them with this woman. Fill her arms with children, as many as she can hold.He hadn’t been listening. A decade ago, and probably even years before that, he’d made a decision to protect himself, because his life had been hard and he’d been all alone.
There was nothing harder than middle-of-the-night parenting. At every age, it was the hardest, and loneliest. But on either side of those struggles were moments of absolute joy, and Owen wanted that again.
If Kerry didn’t want him anymore, he would accept that. But she didn’t have all the facts. “I need to talk to her about this, but I wanted to say it out loud first. And also figure out how to have that conversation with her in a way that doesn’t make any false promises.”
“Don’t be halfway,” Adam said. “If you go to her with something like that, you gotta be all in. Are you?”
Owen nodded. “All the way. I love her.”
