“I can’t.” On any level. She couldn’t risk her heart again.
“Tell me how the new job is going.” He stroked his fingertips back and forth over the inside of her wrist.
She ignored the fluttery joy that sprang to life at his simple touch and tugged her hand back to her side of the table. “You tell me howyourjobs are going.”
He accepted her mulish question and considered his response for a minute before telling her a few things. Probably nothing more than was published in the police beat report in the weekly paper, but still offered readily enough—something that had been missing when they were married. If she had the same agenda Rafe did, she’d accept the baby step in the right direction.
But she wasn’t a fool. They had no real future, and she wasn’t going to pussyfoot around their problems for a doomed affair. He might think he was playing for keeps again, but Olivia knew the truth. He was still hung up on them. They’d been good together, when it wasn’t awful. That desire needed to be excised, and not in a misguided reunion attempt. She braced herself for the lecture that was about to land on her. “What about the big bust two weeks ago?”
His shoulders flexed as he took a deep breath in and held it. His dark eyes lost their playful light and he stared at her for a long minute before lowering his voice and answering her in a clipped, angry burst. “You know better than to ask about that, Liv.”
“Everyone is talking about it.” She lifted her chin defiantly.
“It’s not safe for anyone to think that my wife knows anything—“
“Stop,” she cut him off in a rush. “Just…stop calling me that.”
“No.” He pulled his lower lip between his teeth and hooded his gaze. He was still tense, but he wasn’t yelling at her. Maybe they should have had more of their fights in public. Although that had never stopped him at the diner. Maybe it was because he was in uniform.
She’d always respected that he needed to focus on work, and a deep sense of shame washed through her gut that she’d slipped now after all this time. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything about the bust. I’m going to go.” She pushed up to a stand and this time he didn’t reach out to stop her. He let his words do the heavy lifting instead.
“You’ll always be my wife.” His voice was rough and tense, and then he stood and stepped right into her personal space. “And because of that, you can ask me whatever you want. I need to do better by you on that front. Listen more. But baby, there are some things I can’t tell you. That I won’t tell you. And you can be pissed at me about that all you want, but this time I’m not walking away because you’re mad at me.”
They were almost the right words. Beautiful, perfect words that made her heart swell and her sex clench. Stupid heart, stupid sex. Her head knew better. This had been a nothing conversation and it had put him on edge. If she let him close, it wouldn’t take long for all the old hurt to bubble up and boil over. And he’d leave her again in a heartbeat.
“Fool me once, Rafe…You can try your damnedest, but there won’t be athis time.”
His jaw pulsed hard. But then instead of biting out a retort, he slid his sunglasses back on and smiled. “Keep saying my name, baby. As long as my name is on your lips, I’ve got hope we’re going to make it.”
— —
He knew Liv thought he was delusional. He didn’t care.
When he saw her car outside the coffee shop, he hadn’t really thought about pulling in—he’d just done it, like a moth to a flame. Except no matter what she thought, there was nothing destructive about their love. They just hadn’t known what to expect the first time around. They hadn’t dated, not really. From the first night, he’d had the looming deadline of heading back up north in his head, and it hadn’t taken long to decide he wanted to take her with him.
And then he lost her, and like a fool, he thought that would sort itself out.
So now they had another looming deadline. Six months instead of three. Too many similarities, really, but he was six years older and at least a little bit wiser. This time he was going to show her what he was offering.
It might not be what she wanted, not exactly, but it was what they both needed.
And for that reason, he had no doubt she’d show up at the legion for the stag and doe on Saturday night. Because he was her flame just as much as she was his.
— EIGHT —
THE lights flickered on, encouraging the last partiers to head somewhere else, and Rafe shoved his empty beer bottle to join its friends in the middle of the table. She hadn’t shown up.
“You look miserable.” Jake Foster dropped into the chair opposite him and he gave his friend the finger. “And thanks for that.”
“I didn’t see you here earlier.”
“I had a date.” Jake wrinkled his nose.
“Don’t let Matt see you make that face.”
“Who do you think set me up? I’ve already sent him a few texts suggesting what he can do with future blind dates.” His friend hesitated for a minute, then leaned forward on the plastic covered table. “I wanted to ask you—“
Before Jake could spit out his thought, Dean clapped him on the shoulders. “Need a ride, baby brother?”
