“What?” he asked, right on cue. Attentive at every turn.
She wrinkled her nose. “I’m having some weird flashback stuff to previous conversations about kink that didn’t go so well. Glad we’re having this conversation in a semi-public place, and then feeling guilty for that relief, because I trust you, you know?”
He covered her hand with his. “Yep. I get it. And this conversation will go just fine.”
“You freaked out a little.”
“But just a little. I told you I needed to process my thoughts.”
“That scared me.” But in admitting that, man she felt a rush of relief. Because she could tell him that, no drama. She gave him a tremulous smile. “Hey, I can tell you that!”
He laughed gently and raised his eyebrows at her. “How about that?”
She held his gaze as the warmth flooded back into her core. “I love you, Hunter.”
He nodded slowly. “I love you, too.”
She took a sip of her coffee, giving him some space to set the next beat of the conversation.
He took his time, thinking as he hulked over his coffee cup. She let her gaze travel over him. His hair was still damp from the sweat of dancing and getting dirty in the limo. He probably smelled faintly of sex, and she was grateful that it was the middle of the night—not that he seemed to mind.
So who had the hang up now?
“Three months ago, my life was pretty simple,” he finally said, setting his coffee down and taking her hand in his. His eyes were soft, but the rest of his features were tightly schooled. Back in control. “And then I met you and everything I thought I wanted exploded. My life has changed so much since I met you, you know that? In tiny ways. Like I imagine sharing your little bungalow and wonder if you’re going to want to raise chickens. I can’t get enough of watching you paint. I want you naked, all the time—and I like sex, but that incessant craving is new to me. I think about a future with you and what it might be like. And of all that is overwhelming enough without the extra layer of discovering I might have all these darker, deeper desires. Fuck, Serena, I’m not a guy that uses the word desire. I like sex. I like fucking. I like women. But damn it, I love you, and to have you also be the person who unlocks some kinky shit inside me is kind of mind-blowing. I just need some time to process it.”
He needed time?
Her mouth had dropped open somewhere around chickens and she couldn’t bring herself to close it. “Uh-huh,” she said quietly, her eyes probably as wide as saucers. She knew the feeling. She could use some time, too.
The rest of her life might just be long enough to absorb just how incredible Hunter was. It was way too soon to think about ways to keep busting norms with him, but the urge to drop to her knees and beg this man to marry her was pretty dang strong.
“So give me time, okay?” He touched the tip of his finger to her jaw and she snapped her mouth shut.
“Baby, you don’t need to change who you are. At all. Maybe we’ve gone about this all the wrong way, but you’re perfect for me.” She licked her lips, suddenly nervous. Because she sure as heck wasn’t perfect for him. Not by a long shot. “Tonight…if you regret it—”
“I don’t.” His gaze didn’t waver from her face, even as storm clouds gathered in his usually clear eyes. “I feel like I should. You see the difference? But I don’t.”
“It was hot,” she said, her voice cracking, slipping to a whisper because the next part was hard. “But then it was…not. And that’s like whiplash, you know?”
He nodded, his face tightening even more.
“Sometimes…” she was reaching here, but she knew it was okay to make some guesses. And safer still to talk just about herself. She swallowed against the irrational fear of revealing too much about herself. “Sometimes sex can be so good, so intense, that it rocks us at the core. Usually it happens to the bottom in a scene, but let’s face it, real life can’t be constrained to a scene, and especially a newer person, even when in charge…I mean, I’m just guessing here, but I bet aftercare is important for dominants, too. And I know how awful it is to do something new and scary and hot, and then be left to deal with the emotional fallout on my own.”
His face blanched. “That wasn’t what I meant to do tonight.”
“Not tonight,” she continued smoothly. “What we did in the limo was dirty and hot, but I wouldn’t call it a dominant/submissive scene, and I didn’t slide into subspace.” All the vocabulary slide right back into her mouth like it hadn’t been years. And oh, boy did it feel good to flex those muscles again. It feltright. Maybe for the first time ever.
She didn’t know how often the words would come in handy with Hunter, but she had a new confidence that they’d never be used to hurt her.
He frowned. “So…wait, you think thatIneed aftercare? After getting you off in front of Quinn?”
She nodded. “Maybe yes.”
“Warm blankets and a cookie?” His face cracked into a wide, happy smile. “Beautiful. Come on.”
Oh, the big bad SEAL didn’t think he had sensitive feelings? She stuck her tongue out at him. “Come on, nothing.” She pointed to his coffee. “That warm, milky drink making you feel better?”
He froze, cup halfway to his mouth. His eyes darted back and forth from his hand to her face, and back to the coffee in question. “Uh… Maybe.”
