Both Liana and Jackie shook their heads at the same time. “It’s more complicated than that,” Liana said. “A bad release is almost worse than not releasing at all in terms of getting another deal.”
Andrew frowned. “But what if you don’t need another deal?”
Liana laughed. “Well, it would be hard to keep paying you if I didn’t have a new album to tour on.”
“Why do you need someone else to necessarily release your next album?” Andrew held up his hand. “Hear me out. I’m not so naive to think just fuck the labels, as nice as that would be. But what if you could drop an indie album soon after the label album.”
Jackie sat up straighter in her chair, then did another look around before leaning in. “That’s a good question. If you had another album ready to go…”
“Oh my gosh.” Liana tightened her grip on Dean’s hand and bounced in her seat. He bit his lip to keep from laughing. This was better than Christmas, even if he didn’t really follow it completely. He could already see Andrew’s idea getting better as she rolled it around in her glorious, clever mind. “You guys are geniuses.”
Andrew shook his head. “I wish I could take the credit. It was something that West said at one point, about giving up on the dream of getting picked up by a label, because—”
“Because he can get the best of both worlds with me. Oh, you clever man.” She let go of Dean’s hand and launched herself at her bassist, peppering his cheek with kisses before she leaned across the table to high-five Jackie.
Now it was Dean’s turn to do the lazy look around the restaurant, but nobody was giving them a second glance. And then it was his turn to get her appreciative kisses, although he hadn’t done anything to earn them. He still tangled his hand in her hair and held her close for a second.
“You’re happy?” he whispered.
“Very.”
“Good.” He kissed the tip of her nose as he gazed down at her clear blue eyes. “I like that sparkle in your eyes.”
Beside them, their waitress cleared her throat.
He still maintained that grown men didn’t blush, but Dean’s cheeks felt suspiciously warm as he leaned back and accepted his monster plate of food.
Chapter Twenty-Three
THE tour resumedwith an outdoor festival in Tulsa.
And like in Louisville, Liana found it too much. Too chaotic, too intense. It left her feeling too vulnerable, and she couldn’t crest that wave. Couldn’t get on top of it and ride it like a queen.
The fact that she’d had such a good break in Nashville and had finally confronted Track made it even worse. So much for finding her inner warrior goddess.
She finished the last song on auto-pilot, which of course wasn’t good enough and sent her even further into a spiral of negative self-talk.
How was that? Was that good enough? It wasn’t, not really. The crowd wasn’t really into it. Should I have sat down on the stool? Would that have been more authentic?
Her head started to spin, just a little. Not like she was going to pass out, but something more subtle than that. More concerning. Like she was starting to see what was happening around her from an odd, detached angle.
“Great job,” one of the roadies said. Chris, her brain reminded her.
Detached.
Yeah. That was the word for it.
“Thanks, Chris,” she heard herself say, then felt herself give a little fist pump in the air.
“You want water?” he asked, holding out a bottle.
“I’m good.” She clenched her hands into fists to keep them from shaking.
A large, male body stepped in front of her. “I’ll take that,” Dean said to Chris, grabbing the water. Then he set his arm around her shoulder and propelled her forward. “Come on.”
He walked them across the wing of the stage, letting her stop at the top of the stairs to sign autographs, then again at the bottom, but he kept her moving past the tent, down the carpeted path to the makeshift hallway of curtains that led to the tour bus parking. Behind her, she could hear her band veer off into the VIP tent, and then they were, for a split second, alone.
“I’m fine,” she whispered under her breath, to herself as much as him. And she fought for that control, wanted to believe it, even as her head spun and darkness threatened at the corners of her vision.
