Philippa drew in a shuddering breath. Her stomach felt leaden. She could not imagine how badly she’d wounded Tommy by not accepting her as herself. By notappreciatingher for herself. By not letting her know there was no one else Philippa loved and admired more.
She yearned to be the one who gave Tommy what she wanted, what she needed, what she deserved. As wild and free as she always seemed, how often had Philippa stopped to ask Tommy whatshewanted? Whatsheneeded?
Philippa hung her head. “Asking your sister to permanently and publicly be someone she’s not was no better than my parents’ constant demands that I be something I’m not.”
“Which is whyyoushouldn’t do it, either.” Graham’s voice was soft. “Sacrificing your own happiness and needs to satisfy your family’s selfish wants is just as unfair. It isn’t noble to coddle them at the expense of your own happiness.”
Philippa twisted her hands.
“Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Live for yourself.” Graham gave her a brotherly smile. “No matter what your parents told you, it’sall rightto have the things you want in life. You can reach out and grab them.”
Freedom. Love. Tommy.
Running away was not the answer. The only acceptable path forward was for both Philippa and Tommy to be themselves.
Even if it meant disappointing her parents. Even if it meant the loss of her reputation. Even if it meant no longer being part of Polite Society. Love was worth it.
Tommywas worth it.
“Carpe diem,” Philippa said. “Carpe vitam. Carpe amorem.”
“That’s the stuff.” Graham held out his hand and pulled her to her feet. “Seize the day, seize life, and seize love.”
As he had suggested from the beginning.
“Do Wynchesters always win?” Philippa grumbled.
“You’ll find out. If you manage to become one of us.”
Philippa rolled her shoulders. It might be impossible. It might be too late. She might have already destroyed Tommy’s trust in her.
But she wouldn’t walk away again without doing everything in her power to prove to Tommy just how much Philippa loved her.
“Before I go…” She bit her lip. “Might I ask for one tiny, peculiar favor?”
Graham’s brown eyes glittered with mischief. “Anything.”
37
Tommy flung herself atop her freshly made bed and stared up at the canopy.
She could not bear to make small talk with her siblings, who were all having a perfectly fine day and had not just watched the woman they loved fleeing in horror at the thought of being together as partners.
Philippa had left half an hour ago. Tommycouldhave gone after her. Would have, once. But if Philippa didn’t love her—not enough to want Tommy for and as herself—then what good was chasing a dream that was already over?
A knock sounded at the door.
She ignored it. One’s private chambers were sacred space. If Tommy had wanted to come out of her room, she would have done so. She was not ready for smiles or hugs or well-meaning optimism.
The knock came again.
Tommy placed her pillow over her face. At least she didn’t have curls to ruin or cosmetics to smear. She was just Tommy.
Alone. Again.
The banging at the door penetrated the feathers of her pillow.
Tommy cast the cushion aside and lurched toward the closed door.
