Chapter 8
Later that evening, after reading to his children an hour earlier than usual, Jack instructed his kitchen to begin wassail preparations for that night’s festivities, then headed to his study.
In the five days since taking out the advert, his wide mahogany desk nearly bowed from the tower of eager responses his listing had generated.
Jack had yet to open any of them.
His days had been too full of coordinating the constantly changing smuggling operations—punctuated by boisterous meals, competitive hoop trundling, and the occasional knife throwing lesson—to possibly have any spare time to devote to the governess search.
His children were going to miss Désirée.Hewas going to miss Désirée. They worked so well together as a team. Almost like a family.
He tore open the wax seal on the first query in the pile. Very experienced governess. Impressive command of an endless list of subjects. A list of references that looked like a summary of regular patrons to Almack’s.
She wouldn’t do.
He opened the next one on the pile, and the next, and the next. Perhaps he had undersold the twins’ rambunctiousness. Perhaps he had oversold the price he was willing to pay to the right person.
Every single solicitude had more extensive credentials and glowing references than the last.
He shoved the rest of the stack away unopened and rubbed his face with his hands.
Jack was used to things not being easy. He was used to putting in the work, trying as hard as he could for as long as necessary until he achieved whatever it was that he needed to do.
The governess hunt was the opposite sensation.
He had told Désirée he wasn’t looking for an Oxford professor, but the truth was, Jack could afford one if he wished to. Hell, half the women in this pile seemed like they could offer an education to rival any university.
Not that his childrenneededfancy schooling.
The smuggling windfall wouldn’t last forever, especially now that Boney had been sent to Elba and peace was on the horizon.
To compensate for an uncertain future, Jack had spent the past several years learning the art of investing through trial and error. So,somuch error.
It was no longer a challenge, but a skill. His coffers now had enough of a cushion that if French brandy became legal tomorrow and his smuggling career ended overnight, neither he nor his children would ever have to worry about money.
He’d wanted his children to be educated not because they needed to find work, but because he wanted them to be intelligent. To have more opportunities, more choices, more freedom than he or his father or his father’s father had ever had.
Now here he was, seated before a literal tower of educational possibilities, and all he could think was:
None of those women were Désirée.
He liked her. No, this was worse than mere liking. He was becoming attached to her. Starting to feel like she was not an addition to his life, but an intrinsic part of it. That when she left, things would not return to normal, but instead be left with a piece missing.
Incomplete.Again.
This was the agreement they had made, he reminded himself. He had warned her he wasn’t looking for anything lasting, and she had warned him of the very same thing. She and her brothers would rather return to the place where their parents were beheaded than stay here in Cressmouth. He had to be respectful of that.
He ought tosupportit. If he had suffered a missing piece, the le Ducs had been forced to survive as the only pieces left. What could be lonelier than that? If Jack was a true friend, he could shave off an inconsequential sliver of his wealth and hand it to them to pay off their debts and finance the family’s return journey home.
Not that any of the stubborn le Ducs would accept charity. Their pride would have them calling for dueling pistols at dawn rather than swallowing the implication that they required the aid of an English commoner.
The corner of Jack’s mouth quirked. He ought to make the offer anyway, just to see the look on Lucien’s face.
Bastien, on the other hand… Bastien was the more level-headed of the two brothers. The most pragmatic. Bastien would accept coin from the hands of his enemies if it helped him achieve his goals. He’d have the family aboard the next boat to France before sunrise, and Jack…
Jack would have only himself to blame for losing Désirée all the faster.
Distant pounding sounded on his front door. The carolers! He strode to Désirée’s chamber to see if she was ready to go wassailing.
