He swallowed the agonizing thought, and proffered his elbow.“May I see you home?”
“Thank you, kind sir.”Penelope curled her fingers about his arm with a smile.
A sudden flap of wind fluttered his coattails as someone ran past, right behind them.
“Turr, turr,” came the gurgling coo.
Penelope startled.“What was that?”
“Nothing.”He all but dragged her toward the door before she could glance behind him.
“Was that Virginia?”she asked.
“I think it was a bird.”He changed his mind.“Or a madwoman.”
“They should put her in charge of the aviary,” Penelope said.“Perhaps she would meet a nice gentleman who shared her interests.”
“I don’t think a two-bird aviary requires more than one person in charge,” he said dryly.
“I meant a gentleman customer.”Her eyes widened.“Are there two birds now?”
“Miss Underwood donated Dasher.”He led her around a small puddle.“Are there many clients, male or otherwise, who visit a one-bird aviary?”
“If there are,” she admitted with a smile, “I am certain they would have plenty in common with Virginia.”
Nicholas tried to imagine Miss Underwood presiding over a two-bird aviary, giving her unique style of lecture to a gentleman who had traveled there for expressly that purpose.He could not decide if a comedy or a tragedy would ensue.
“She is such a kind soul,” Penelope said softly.“She’d be the perfect candidate forDuchess.”
“All men don’t throw themselves at Miss Underwood’s feet?”he teased.
Penelope frowned.“They should.”
Nicholas tried to imagine a world in which England’s most eligible bachelors were drawn to a remote village to swoon before Miss Underwood.
“God help us all,” he muttered.
Penelope glanced up at the clouds.“I wonder if she’ll ever marry.”
He shrugged.“Does she want to?”
“Aren’t all women supposed to want to?”she countered.
He paused.“Doyouwant to?”
“I’ve never wanted to.”She glared at the horizon.“I don’t see the point.Passion is chemistry.No other species complicates a perfectly natural act with dowries and courtships and boring sermons no one is listening to because their stomachs are growling.”
“Is that all marriage is?”For some reason, the thought disappointed him.“Unnecessary pomp and circumstance tacked on to a purely biological coupling?”
He regretted the question as soon as it was out of his mouth.Why was he arguing against her?He wasn’t trying to talk her into marriage.It would be beyond hypocritical to claim finding a bride as some sort of goal he had been working toward at any point in his life.
So why did it feel as though a knife twisted in his chest every time Penelope mentioned she had no need for love or passion or marriage?He should be glad.He’d be leaving soon.What she did or didn’t do with her life after he was gone was none of his business.
But itfeltlike his business.It was all he could think about.Her lack of interest in a romance with him.The possibility of her changing her mind with someone else.Someone better.Someone… marriageable.
He tightened his jaw and forced himself to rein in his fears.They didn’t matter.He had to stay emotionless.These moments with Penelope were nothing more than an unusually prolonged encounter.He should treat it as no different than any other meaningless rendezvous.
Perhaps they would come together in… Natural human nocturnal behavior.Perhaps they wouldn’t.Either way, it would soon be over.If she wished for physical intimacy, he would be delighted to oblige but he knew better than to involve his heart.
