His was a world of power and riches and political alliances. He could not marry her if he wished to. Besides, was that even a life she would want? Noelle would never be accepted amongst those of his class. Here in Cressmouth, she was more than accepted. She was part of a family.
A distant roar of voices met their ears before the source came into sight.
He slanted her a startled look. “Is there a disturbance?”
“There’s a party.” Noelle did not feel like celebrating. She forced herself to smile anyway. “I had bills posted across town, remember?”
His expression was dubious. “How many people would choose to attend the grand opening of a one-bird aviary?”
“All of them.” She pointed as the queue came into view.
A long line of laughing, wind-flushed faces snaked over every inch of the snow-covered garden and down the street.
“This crowd could fill Vauxhall,” he said with a chuckle.
The thought caused a pain in Noelle’s chest. She had never seen Vauxhall. Never wanted to before. But she suddenly could not put the thought of being there with Silkridge out of her mind. Or the thought of him being there with someone else.
He paused just before they came into full view of the crowd and turned to face her.
“Our time is almost over,” he said softly.
It always was. They were never granted more than stolen moments. She swallowed hard. “Do you remember what happened five years ago?”
“Our first kiss?” His warm gaze was intent on hers. “I’ve never forgotten.”
Neither would she. This was torture.
“Why do you hate Christmas?” she whispered.
It was not the real question she meant, but much easier to ask thanwhy do you keep leaving me?
His expression closed. “I don’t wish to discuss it.”
Her voice trembled. “Was it because we—”
He grabbed her hand and placed it to his chest.
“It has nothing to do with you,” he said roughly. “My father and I had a reason to despise Christmas time since the year I was born. Losing him just gave me another reason. My grandfather’s castle, this picturesque holiday village… You are the best thing in it.”
She drew in a shuddering breath and dared to hope.
“Could you stay?” she whispered. “If there was a reason?”
As she gazed up at him, church bells began to ring the hour. Her stomach twisted. Noon. The magic was over.
He took her hand from his chest and placed it back on his elbow. “I cannot stay, no matter how many reasons I find. I belong in London, in the House of Lords. My duty is to Parliament.”
She nodded dumbly. She could not hope to compete against a love of country.
She had just hoped there might be room for her, too.
Chapter 11
Benjamin stood before the entrance to the aviary and faced a crowd of hundreds.
He had given any number of addresses to Parliament that ought to carry much more weight and import. But for the first time, he felt as though he stood at the crossroads of his own life.
At last, he was seconds away from washing his hands of his grandfather’s final manipulation. Minutes away from once more having in his possession an heirloom he had feared lost to him forever. An hour away from being back in his carriage with which he could finally put all things Cressmouth and Christmas behind him for good.
