He tried again. “ShouldIsummon a maid?”
“You’re not going to kiss me, much less compromise me,” she said flatly. “Should you working at your desk whilst I work at mine raise any eyebrows, I preemptively decline any resulting marriage proposal. I would prefer to remain a spinster.”
That was clear enough.
Benjamin broke her gaze in order to rummage through drawers and pigeonholes for supplies. He found ink and wax. But peace of mind was nowhere to be found.
Being forced to face the woman he had hurt was hell. Especially because he could not make things better or change the past. He wouldn’t if he could. Leaving had been the right choice. And going back in time to erase their stolen kiss… Even he could not bring himself to do that.
Before he dipped his quill in ink, he slid her another glance from the corner of his eye. Something was different. Something important. It wasn’t her looks; she would be beautiful no matter what she wore. His gut clenched. It was what was missing.
Her smile.
He had never seen her without it for this long. It was one of the first things that had attracted him to her. One of the many reasons he had not wished to disappoint her with a goodbye. Even this morning, she had been in good humor, laughing with her friends.
Granted, he could not count himself amongst that number, but the chilliness emanating from her corner of the room was even frostier than the weather outside.
“Did something happen?” he asked.
“Something happened,” she agreed. “You didn’t stay for the remainder of the reading?”
“I couldn’t.” He would not explain the spiral of anger and frustration his grandfather’s final game had caused. Even now, he could not be certain that dancing to the old man’s tune would result in anything at all. Yet he had to try. “What other tricks did Grandfather leave behind?”
Her expression was grim. “His will instructed me to remain on as clerk and personal advisor to you during your aviary preparations.”
“You’re my personal advisor,” he repeated. What the devil was Grandfather about this time?
She appeared as thrilled as Benjamin was about this new development, which was not at all. “Only for a month, until you open the aviary or leave.”
“In exchange for what?” he asked suspiciously
“In exchange for nothing.” She shrugged. “Those are simply his wishes.”
He stared at her. “But you don’t have to follow them. Not if there’s no bequest hanging in the balance.”
“There is a bequest. He has provided me with a generous dowry. It simply is not contingent on any particular constraints. Ichooseto follow his wishes.”
Even if it means time spent with youwent unspoken.
Benjamin did not ask why her bequest had come freely and his had not. Grandfather was capricious in many ways, but with Benjamin he had always been consistent.
“It won’t be a month,” he promised her. “My presence is required in the House of Lords within a fortnight. This won’t take long. I’ll hire as many workers as it takes to complete the aviary as quickly as possible. First I will need to make inquiries into what’s been done, what’s still needed, and where one might find materials and labor nearby.”
She laid the letter she had been writing atop similar such documents, tapped them into a neat rectangle, and extended the stack toward Benjamin.
“What’s this?” he asked.
She did not respond.
He reached across the desk to accept the stack. His eyes widened in surprise as he riffled quickly through the pages. “This is a detailed summary of the original plans, all completed construction, all pending restorations, workers’ names, directions, and salaries… and the location of the outbuilding containing all necessary material.”
“Yes.” She set down her quill. “Everything you need should be in those documents.”
She’d gathered all that information in the space of hours? For him? He gaped at her. “How did you… Why did you…”
“It’s not a favor,” she reminded him. “I’m your clerk and personal advisor until you open the aviary or leave, whichever comes first.”
He managed not to wince at the implied rebuke. “Are you going to be here in the counting house every day?”
