Carefully walking toward the closest pool, I lowered us step by step until my eyes settled on a seat in the bubbling water. Blood immediately began to fill the pool as we submerged ourselves in it. The gently sloshing water flowed around us as I loosened my grip on her to allow her wings more room to float behind her.
She winced as the heat and magic within the water began to do their job. Holding her gingerly as I fully sat in the water, half holding her to me and half helping her body stay supported so her face didn’t sink beneath the water, I let out a heavy sigh.
She was here now. She would heal.
Her eyes closed and I kept my eyes trained on the pulse at her neck as the time dragged on. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that, but when her tears had long since faded and her body no longer shook, those beautiful, golden eyes opened to stare at me once more.
I felt her muscles tense as she prepared to move, and panic set in.
“No,” I demanded, pulling her in closer to my chest once more, loving the feel of the way her body cradled against mine without hesitation. “I…just give me a few more minutes.”
My own adrenaline was slowly coming down, but it left me with thoughts and questions I wasn’t ready to face.
“Okay,” she breathed out before setting her head into the crook of my neck.
Her breathing fanned across my skin as I leaned my head back against the edge of the pool and closed my eyes.
Where did we go from here?
13
KIERAN
Slowly easingmyself out of bed, I felt a momentary sense of relief that no one was sleeping next to me tonight, which was immediately followed by a bit of guilt. The men I’d come to care about so much had done nothing to warrant menotwanting to be around them. Yet, I still found myself needing a moment alone after the day I’d had.
Everyone had given me space after Steele and I got home, not pressing us for information. It was probably clear to everyone that something had occurred, but when I asked to sleep alone for the night before going upstairs, all I’d gotten in return was nods of understanding and the instruction to let them know if I needed anything.
Old wounds opened while on that obstacle course, with new ones alongside it. The way Steele turned on a dime between the two sides of him I knew was driving me crazy. I wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone forever at the beginning of the course, but by the end of the day as he held me in the pool with so much tenderness and the way in which he guarded me…
I didn’t know what the hell I wanted, or what he wanted for that matter.
I needed a second of solitude to reflect on how fast our lives were changing—internally within myself, with the men around me, and the world as a whole. Some days I felt like I was kicking ass and taking things in stride, but others it felt like life was kicking my ass back ten times harder.
I’d been tossing and turning for at least two hours now, so I gave up hope of falling back asleep and instead made my way across my darkened room. The moonlight spilled across the familiar space, allowing for a silver beam of light to highlight the pathway to my bedroom door. Slipping through the door silently, I closed it as quietly as I could behind me—the faintest ’click’ echoing through the hall.
I stood there listening for any of the others—either awake in their rooms or moving about the house—but after a long moment, I realized everyone was thankfully asleep. It was nearly three in the morning, so I hadn’t expected anyone to be up, but I also didn’t want to disturb or worry them.
Moving down the stairs and past the kitchen, I grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around my shoulders before stepping out onto the back patio. In retrospect, I probably should have put on warmer clothes, but the moment the fresh night air hit my face, IknewI wasn’t going back inside anytime soon. This was exactly what I needed.
As I tilted my head skyward, I found myself trailing slowly off the patio and onto the soft grass, the dewy surface feeling almost cold beneath my bare feet. Despite feeling physically more settled and grounded out here, I couldn’t deny that something still felt…off within me. Like an unease curling around each fiber of my being.
My subconscious felt constantly distracted—as if there was something pulling at my brain, trying to get me to connect with…a thought? I shook my head and took a deep breath. That didn’t feel right, either, but what else could it be?
Undoubtedly, I was filled with a lot of uncertainty about Steele and unsure of where it left us. But I knew for fact that wasn’t what was gnawing at my brain right now.
My eyes drifted along the sky, taking in all its beauty. A buzz began to flow through me, making me feel like I was getting closer to whatever was calling to me. Maybe it was the moon, whose luminescent glow lit up the midnight sky. Or maybe it was the low hum of insects that I could hear rustling through the trees. Or even the stars that appeared to be unusually vibrant, pulsating with an energy that was mesmerizing.
Reaching my hand up, I squinted, and a small smile tugged on my lips, imagining for a moment that I could reach out and grasp the bright stars. I knew I would be able to interact with them at some point, but I hadn’t reached that point in my training yet.
A thought hit me: maybe I should put my restless brain to work and train.
There was nothing like shoving emotions down in a box until I felt capable of actually feeling them to their full extent.
Deciding that I was committed to that idea, I sacrificed my warmth and laid out the blanket on the grass before sitting down cross legged. After days of training, I found the position familiar and didn’t hesitate to close my eyes before attempting to center myself. Immediately, the tether appeared before me.
…only for me to find that it wouldn’t budge from where it rested within me. A growl of frustration rolled through my chest as my lips tightened with the force I tried to use on it. My brows dipped as a frown slipped onto my face. As I attempted to pull even harder on the tether, I quickly realized that there was an unusual weight to it. Opening my eyes, I tilted my head back and glared skyward at the stars.
“What the heck?” I whisper-yelled, my tone tinged with frustration. “I keep hitting wall after wall during training andnow I can’t even release my tether? I’m literally trying with everything in me to connect to this power and help you! Why won’t you let me?”
