“If I’m going to do this, Noah—if I’m going to be this Star Keeper everyone needs me to be—then I refuse to be in the dark.” His brows furrowed as a quizzical light filled his gaze. Still, I pushed forward, really wanting to hit home with my point.
“I understand that in the Rebellion, the council makes the final decisions on things, but if I’m correct—and with how this prophecy has been explained to me—then the importance ofit, and anything to do with it, would supersede the council.” I paused for just a moment, having to resist the urge to wipe away the sweat that gathered on my palms.
Sticking up for myself didn’t come naturally. Normally, when I needed to defend or protectsomeone else, I found that it was as easy as breathing. Despite everything I’d gone through to get to this point, what I’d seen and experienced, I was finding it hard to assert the confidence and power that I had been slowly building in my time with the Rebellion.
You deserve respect, Kieran.
The thought propelled me on. “I don’t want any information, pertaining to me or what I need to do, withheld from me again. No matter how scary or potentially intimidating it may seem, I can deal with it.” My hands shook slightly, a byproduct of my unease, so I found myself clasping them, not wanting to appear anything but confident in my decision to bring this up. “Ihaveto deal with it if I’m going to be successful. I will not be left in the dark while everyone else around me knows what’s going on.”
Once the words were out, I felt far better, but it hadn’t been an easy thing to say. I didn’t want to be disrespectful, but I knew it was essential to speak my truth and demand what I needed in this situation.
Silence filled the space as Noah analyzed my words, his confusion replaced with a thoughtful look—his head tilting as his gaze went distant. I waited with bated breath, resisting the urge to look toward Bastian. I knew he would support me in this—that was just who he was as a man—but I also knew looking at him could cause me to soften, to want to seek comfort in his arms. I needed to stand strong on my own in this.
After a long moment, Noah nodded, his gaze examining the look of determination I set on my face, tilting my chin up confidently. “I hear you, Kieran. I also owe you an apology.”
Oh. My brows rose as my stomach settled, no longer feeling quite like a chaotic storm of nerves. “An apology?”
“Yes.” He offered me a contrite smile. “Not only for keeping you in the dark but for doubting your strength and resolve. For so long, this prophecy existed solely in the hypothetical. We didn’t know who it was about, let alone if we would find them. So when you came to the Rebellion…Well, I didn’t take the time to consider how my actions or lack of transparency would affect you.”
I didn’t respond immediately, considering his words before nodding. “I appreciate the apology. I promise you I can handle this.”
His smile was filled with warmth as he continued, “And I should have never doubted that. From now on, I give you my word that I will not purposefully withhold information from you. You’re right, your destiny is far greater than anything else within the Rebellion. The council shouldn’t get to decide what you do and do not know about your own future.”
The relief I felt at his words nearly had my eyes pricking. I nodded before whispering, “Thank you.”
“Of course,” he offered while holding my gaze and infusing his words with sincerity, his expression soft and hands opened as if to welcome any questions I did have. “Is there anything else you would like to talk about? I want you to be completely comfortable here.”
“No. We can start.”
Noah nodded and clasped his hands together, placing them in his lap. “We are no longer testing you for your affinity, Kieran. Instead, we’ll be focused on connecting and growing your powers to ensure that when the time comes, you can use your affinity. It won’t be easy.”
I nearly smiled at that but managed to restrain myself—had anything been easy lately? The answer was no.
“I will do my best to explain what I know,” he assured me, “but please stop me if you have any questions.”
I nodded in understanding as he continued. “Your power as a Star Keeper is complex, yet at the same time, extremely simple. I know that sounds confusing, but bear with me. The simple part is well…your ability comes from being able to connect to the stars.”
“And the more complex part?” I asked, following his logic.
“The more complex part ishowyou do that. Because unlike other affinities, the physical manifestation of your power isn’t as easy to see or experience. For example, Bastian’s powers impact the physical world around us every single time he uses them.” Noah motioned to the man in question, my gaze darting to where he was lounged out like a cat. Bastian’s eyes filled with a curious light, indicating his attention was fully on the conversation at hand.
“I have scoured every text and read everything I can about Star Keepers, and the majority of my sources emphasize that your base of power starts from a meditative state. In order to both physically and mentally connect to the stars, to be able to channel them and pull light from them, you have to find your ties to them. Only at that point, once that connective ability is achieved, can you progress to using runes designed for Star Keepers.”
“I have no idea how I would even go about that,” I admitted, arching my brow in question.
“Some of the accounts I’ve read claim it’s like an internal tether that connects you to the Star Keeper’s assigned star, or in your case—all stars—at least according to the prophecy. So that imagery may be a good place to start. I know it may feel like we’re just winging it, but if you are as powerful as I assume, I have a feeling you may find that point of connection faster than you realize.”
But what if I didn’t? His words set me up for a sense of disappointment in myself if I couldn’t do what I needed to. They placed value on how powerful I was based on whether or not I could accomplish that point of connection successfully. Something that normally would cause me anxiety—wascausing me anxiety—but for today, I attempted to push that away, realizing that no amount of overthinking this would help.
Deciding to jump into the deep end, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine as Noah had stated—an internal tether.I immediately drew a blank. I struggled with what to imagine, let alone what to search for outside of myself. I’d spent the majority of my early adult life trying to find that ’piece’ inside myself that spoke to my powers, but time and again I had failed. So it wasn’t terribly surprising that I struggled to find something to latch onto now too.
Even when Noah tested me before, I succeeded by pure instinct alone—there had never been anything to pull or tap into. Which was something I had viewed as a sign of failure for so long.
After fumbling around inside my head for a few more moments, I decided tobuildmy own tether. Maybe that was how it was done—maybe as a Star Keeper, you had to create that connection, rather than it instantly existing within you. Maybe it was something that required more of a personal touch.
From the center of my sternum, I imagined unraveling and pulling a gold rope forth—one that seemed to have an energy to it that was anticipatory in nature, as if it was seeking out…something.
As I pulled on it, I began to release more and more slack on the rope. At first, it laid around me as if it didn’t have a purpose…until I felt drawn to look upwards.
