I let my eyes flutter shut as I increased my pace and his breathing seemed to get harsher and more erratic, signaling that he was reaching his peak.
Just the thought of his hand gliding over his cock made my walls clench. Despite being my first time and there being a bit of pain, Gabe had ensured I felt euphoria between his skilled fingers, tongue, and cock. I knew that it would only get better with each time as my body adjusted to taking him inside me.
He’d stretched me to the brink, filling me in a way that I needed more of. Remembering the feel of him made my hand feel lacking in comparison.
Wetness coated my fingers as I pressed them inside, curling my fingers up to hit the spot that made me clench around them. I bit down on my lip, hard, to stop the moan bubbling in my throat from escaping.
Memories flew through my head, one after another.
The way he started slow and gentle with me, despite not knowing it was my first time, then building his pace and aggressiveness as he saw how well I could take it.
Hearing him say,“You look so pretty taking my cock, almost like you were made to wrap around me.”
I brushed my thumb against my clit and felt my orgasm swelling, ready to break through the dam that was holding me back from reaching bliss.
My tongue darted out to wet my lips as I thought of the way he grabbed my face and fucked my throat, setting the pace and wiping away the tears that escaped my eyes and fell onto the section of his cock I couldn’t take. As amazing as the memory was, I couldn’t help but think of how much better therealthing was. Plus, I had a feeling I hadn’t even experienced Gabriel Astor himself, seeing as he was shifted our first time. I felt a little feral at the idea of finding out if his cock was as impressive in his true form.
I knew it would be.
I ached to give in, to barge into the room and sink down on his cock, so I focused on the warmth and closeness I felt from our conversation earlier. It was important to him to take this time to build our foundation, and deep down I knew it was important to me as well. It was just incredibly hard to remember at the moment.
A strangled groan left his throat and I heard him murmur, “Fuck, Little Star. You fucking own me.”
That sent me over the edge, completely unraveling me.
A breathy gasp escaped my lips as a surge of pleasure coursed through me, causing every nerve ending in my body to come alive. My hand instinctively flew up to cover my mouth, trying to contain the sounds that threatened to still spill out of me. The sensation was like electricity pulsing through me, igniting my senses and sending shivers down my spine.
All I could manage to do was stand there as I surrendered to the pleasure that left my limbs feeling tingly, letting my hand drop to the side. I felt as if I was suddenly basking under the light of the sun high in the sky, as the breeze rolled through my feathers, eliciting shivers despite the warmth cast upon me.
My head leaned back to rest against his door as I took deep, steadying breaths to bring me back down to earth.Holy hell.I couldn’t believe I just did that.
I wasn’t a bold person by nature—at least, I hadn’t thought I was. However, I was beginning to wonder if this was who Itrulywas beneath the rules and structure Alfemir imposed on me. I slept with Gabe on a whim, back when I felt so wildly out of control for what my life was meant to be. And then I jumped through a portal to leave it all behind. Now…this.
Who even was I?
There was something deeply scary, but oddly comforting at the same time, in realizing that I didn’t know the answer to that question. I inhaled deeply, allowing my ribcage to expand fully—almost to a point of pain as I let myself sit with that—before letting it out slowly.
All I could do was hope I’d come to the place that would allow me the space to findme.
I was grateful that Gabe didn’t hear me outside of his bedroom door, because that was definitely a slippery slope to using his body to cope when the world felt overwhelming or I felt lost. Wejustagreed to get to know each other on a deeper level, and here I was already caving.
This would test my discipline far more than I thought.
A throat cleared roughly and my eyes flew open, interrupting my thoughts. Bright silver eyes bore into mine, accentuated by the small stream of light coming in from the window at the end of the hall and cascading over his face and naked torso. I should have been startled and ran to my room immediately, but something kept my feet glued to the floor. It wasn’t just the fact that I was devouring the sight of Steele’s chiseled chest and abdomen covered in a light dusting of dark hair. No, it was the emotions seeming to pour out of him, though he said nothing at all.
His hand was tight on the doorframe he stood in, setting off the veins that bulged from it and all the way up his tattooed forearm. There was a tautness to every inch of him, including his thick thighs shown off by his short, black, boxer briefs. I was shocked to see every inch of skin from the neck down was adorned with the same style of tattoos on his arms, consisting of a lot of snakes, vines—or maybe that was barbed wire—and flowers. His chest was covered by a massive moth with a skull embedded in the art. My mouth opened slightly at the beauty of it. I itched to run my fingers along the black ink on his skin, tracing each design. Of course my eyes naturally caught on the bulge between his legs, and heat crawled up my neck to my cheeks when I realized how openly I was gawking at him.
I could have sworn I saw hunger lurking in his silver orbs, making me feel like his cornered prey. My breath hitched as I wondered if he was going to pounce on me. Seconds later, his harsh features slanted into a scowl of disgust as his lip curled back, and I had no doubt my face immediately reflected the hurt it inflicted upon me.
We might be at odds, and I’dneverseek the warmth of his bed, but I’d be a liar if I said him looking at me like I was literal trash didn’t flay a corner of my insecure heart.
The rush of endorphins I felt only moments before faded quickly, leaving shame and embarrassment as the only things left in me. The emotions coiled through my chest, squeezing my heart as the implications of the situation sank in. Things were already fucked between us, and now I wanted to gouge his eyes out for witnessing this moment and making me feel less than for it.
His eyes stayed glued to my own as I pushed from the door and padded toward my room, keeping my head held high. The only movement from him in return was the tightening of his jaw.
One thing stuck out in my mind at that moment, though. He could have gone back into his room at any time, but he didn’t. He chose to stay and watch, for however long he stood there.
KIERAN
