When Barnabus landed next to me on the railing once again, my attention was pulled to the question I had for him.
Yes, I can turn into a human—he’s correct.
Damn, he had some excellent hearing having heard our conversation while being in the clutches of the wind so high in the sky.
Well, that answered that. I held in my barrage of other questions because I noticed that despite trying to keep his tone light, it seemed a bit guarded, so I wasn’t sure how he would react to my question.
“If you don’t mind me asking…” I hesitated for just a second, not wanting to offend him.
Why don’t I ever shift?
“Yes.” I nodded, glad that he didn’t seem aggravated with my question. “Also, what do you look like? I’m trying to imagine it and can’t.”
I’m far better looking than all these other men…Which is why I don’t shift; I wouldn’t want to show any of them up.
I couldn’t help it, I snorted, surprised by his joking, haughty tone. I covered my mouth, shoulders shaking with laughter.
Barnabus made a sound that came across as laughter as I tried to talk through my own. “Of course, I’m sure that would cause quite the problem. After all, that is such an important element of a naval fleet—how good looking everyone is. Wouldn’t want to cause any problems in the established hierarchy.”
Fortunately for them, I won’t be shifting anytime soon, so it won’t be a problem.His tone, while humorous, was tinted with a bit of sadness. I felt my smile morphing into a more serious expression.
“Why?” I asked softly.
For a long moment, Barnabus didn’t say anything. When he did speak again, there was a rueful tone to the sound of his voice in my head.
I haven’t been in my human form in more than a hundred years. I wouldn’t know how to interact with those of this age and era. I have spent so long in this form, with my brethren of bats and advising Myrin in private, that I don’t think I would feel truly comfortable amongst the normal populace.
“Understandable, but just know that if you ever want to shift, whether temporarily or more permanently, I will fully support it. No matter how you wanted to go about it.”
Rather than responding, he took off, flying away as the sound of boots scraping against the deck filled my ears. I turned to find Tristan walking across the deck, offering me a sharp nod of greeting. I wondered if he had taken a nap himself but based on the bags under his eyes and the slump of his shoulders, I had a feeling he hadn’t.
No doubt his mind was preoccupied with leaving Bailey and Rina.
“You talk to him like she did.”
“I do. Barnabus has a personality all his own with his clicks and body movements, so it's easy to talk to him like I would anyone else.”
Joining me at the railing, we looked out over the water as he nodded, not seeming to question my thought process on it. Then again, didn’t people often talk to their animals? It wasn’t like anyone else knew he could respond.
After a long moment, I looked over at him. “How are you doing, Tristan? I know it was hard to leave. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.”
A slow exhale left him as he ran a hand through his hair and nodded, not bothering to deny it or rebuff my question.
“I’m okay, not good, but okay. Of course, I’m focused on what we need to do, but my thoughts are on them while traveling toward an empire we worked so damn hard to leave. The idea of what could happen before I get back to them worries me. Not for my own safety or what could happen to them back home, but because I don’t want them to worry about my well-being or stress about what could happen during battle.
“I know it's unavoidable, and Bailey is more than strong enough to handle the time apart and anything that comes her way, but Rina…I could see how scared she is, and despite knowing this is the right move, there is a part of me that feels wrong for leaving her after fighting so hard for the freedom to live our lives as we wanted. To be together all the time.”
“And you’re still fighting for freedom, but this time for others,” I pointed out. “I can only imagine how hard it was, especially because of Rina. Which is why we are going to do this and get everyone back home safely. We know how this bastard thinks—we can do this.”
Tristan nodded sharply before offering me a dry, sad smile. “Honestly, I never thought we would be heading back here.”
“Same,” I breathed out. “Every time the memories of the life I had there begin to creep in and ignite my fear of returning, I think about all of those who are still suffering through what we did. It gives me the motivation and bravery to push forward.”
“I have no idea what is going to happen to his lands after we win this war,” Tristan said, his tone confident about our success despite his concerns. “But now that we have experienced the freedom of the Tridian Empire, I can’t imagine not bringing that to others.”
“I agree. I want that to be how all of us live, to have equality for every single human and vampyre.”
“Exactly,” Tristan spoke evenly.
