He went uncharacteristically quiet but continued walking the path with me. We strolled in silence a long while, until we reached a beautiful brook, the water silver in the night as it bubbled over stones.
“What would you have me do, Merri?”
I looked at him, his expression earnest. Pure sincerity radiated from every word. I wished I could truly believe he had the capacity for change, but he was the devil. The antithesis of goodness. “Stop it all. Put an end to this destruction and death. Give the world back to the humans and put aside your hatred of them.”
“I don’t hate them. Not anymore.”
“Then how can you do this to them?”
“I’m setting them free.”
“No. You’re not. You’re killing them. And if you get your way, you’re going to be the meteor that renders them extinct.”
Hurt flashed in his eyes. “So that’s it then. I’m nothing more than your villain.”
“You could be so much more, Luc. If you let yourself remove the mask of vengeance. You spoke about how heavy masks are. That the true gift is in setting them aside. I bet if you actually sat down and thought about what you truly wanted, this path you’re on isn’t it. Not anymore.”
His expression changed from one of openness and honesty to cruelty almost in an instant. “You know nothing about what I truly want. Why shouldn’t I have vengeance? My existence as I knew it was ripped from me simply for stating my concerns.The one person I trusted above all threw me away like so much rubbish. You’ll do the same if I give you an inch.”
I didn’t even know what to say to that until suddenly, I did.
“How can I throw away something that isn’t even mine?”
He dropped the mask of indifference as quickly as he’d adopted it and stared at me again with raw vulnerability. It made my pulse race and my stomach tighten in anticipation.
“Merri...” he whispered, looking into my soul. “Don’t you understand? I could be yours. All you have to do is let me.”
My heart lurched. That was a powerful statement, and one I never expected to hear from him. Being mine was very different from knocking me up. How had I gone from being rejected by the four horsemen to having Lucifer practically begging me to let him be mine?
He reached for me, his fingers brushing my cheek as he moved to close the distance between us. Something inside wanted the contact, craved the kiss I knew he was going for. But I couldn’t give in. Not now.
I tore myself from the dream, coming to with a sputtering gasp as I sank into the now-cool water of my bath. I sat up with a start, sending bubbles and water flying.
“Holy. Fucking. Shit.”
Chapter
Twenty-Five
MALICE
This tightness in my chest wasn’t something I was accustomed to. I think they call it anxiety, and I have realized quickly that I am not a fan of it in the least. Merri hadn’t shown up for last night’s dreamwalk, at least so far as I could tell. She certainly hadn’t come to visit me, nor had I heard an update from any of the others.
My internal alarms had been sounding all night, going from a general sense of unease to a full-blown klaxon drowning out all other thoughts. Was this what dysregulation felt like? How did people exist in this state? I’d damn near paced a hole in the rug over the last hour.
“Fuck it,” I grumbled when I made yet another full circuit of my bedroom.
I was driving myself mad, waiting to see if she was going to call me to her. I needed answers.
Chaos’s room was closest to mine, so I stormed down the hall like a man possessed and pounded on the door. I wasn’t even finished knocking before the door swung open and Chaos greeted me with his own anxious frown.
“Did she come to you?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“No. You?”
“No.”
“Fuck.”
