“Fuck it all!”
Dropping my head into my hands, I forced long, slow breaths. Rage mixed with disappointment, creating a bitter cocktail in my gut. I was not used to failure. I allowed myself time to wallow, my face pressed to my palms. Frustration wouldn’t lead to anything other than mistakes. I didn’t have time for mistakes.
The static flickered in and out, and I knew it was only a matter of time before the old radio finally gave up the ghost and shut off on its own.
“Mal? Mal, are you there?”
Every muscle in my body tensed at the distorted sound of Merri’s voice. I snapped upright, staring hard at the radio.
“Merri?”
I grabbed the radio, holding it so tight my fingers turned white as I desperately played with the knob again. “Merri? Hello?”
No answer.
“Dammit!” I growled.
A gentle tap on my shoulder had me nearly jumping out of my skin before I turned my head to find my hellcat perched on the desk, a wry grin on her lips.
“I’m right here.”
Relief flooded me, followed closely by confusion. “You’re back?”
She shook her head. “Not quite. Any other guesses?”
The whiplash of emotions was making a mess of me. I sat back with a grunt of disappointment. “I’m dreaming.”
Merri offered me a wan smile. “Surprise.”
Getting to my feet, I took all of her in. The fall of fiery locks that tumbled over her shoulders, those big blue eyes, her full,tempting lips. Seeing her, after fearing I may never again be afforded the privilege, was like handing a cool glass of water to a man dying of thirst. Or perhaps I was more akin to a man in a desert stumbling across a mirage. I couldn’t quite trust she was real.
“You came to me.” The words spilled from my lips as soon as they appeared in my mind. This was a dreamwalk. She chose to be here. With me.
“Yes.”
“But why? Sin said you shut him out.”
As badly as I wanted to hear her say she missed me, I knew that alone wouldn’t be enough to sway her. Studying her a bit more carefully, I caught the little smudges below her eyes and the hollowness of her cheeks. She needed to feed. She didn’t want me; she needed me.
I’d fucking take it.
“You’re hungry, aren’t you?” I asked before she could answer my previous query.
She bit her lower lip and looked away from my eyes, then flicked her gaze back to me. “Yes. But I’m not here for that.”
“Then why?” I asked again, fearing the worst.
“I don’t know how to say it.”
“Just spit it out.”
“Lucifer found me.”
My chest constricted as the one thing we’d been fighting to keep from happening became a reality.
She continued softly, “Well, found is a bit misleading. I sort of, um, walked directly into a trap.”
“Explain,” I ground out, forcing myself not to raise my voice.
