Chapter
One
GRIM
“Grim, you absolute motherfucking shit stain of an excuse for a man.”
I stared at my reflection in the gilt mirror that hung over the fireplace in my quarters. She’d laid it all bare for us, and what had I done? Taken her soft and vulnerable heart and crushed it in my palm while she watched. But what else was I meant to do? She’d been wrong to place such importance on us. We couldn’t be what she said we were.
It wasn’t possible.
My gut turned to a stone as dread overtook every other emotion coursing through me. I’d fucked up. I’d known it the instant the words of denial left my lips and that shattered expression crossed her face. I might be correct in my position, but I’d cocked everything up. And now I was fairly certain there was no coming back from what I’d set in motion.
Even if Merri did eventually forgive me, she’d never trust me again.
I clutched at my chest, feeling like something had clawed its way inside and was currently squeezing whatever vital organ might reside there. My breaths came in tight gasps asthe squeezing continued, now accompanied by the flood of ice through my veins. What the fuck was happening to me?
I felt Sin’s energy before he spoke, fury radiating into the room the same way Merri radiated lust. “You know, I really try to understand you and all your moody bullshit, but this is entirely your goddamn fault, Grim. I thought I was done yelling at you, but now that I’m back and we still can’t find her, I’m just more angry. You... you... twatwaffle.”
I couldn’t find it in myself to turn and face him. I deserved every insult he hurled my way and then some. “Are you done?” I asked, not quite able to keep the defeat from my voice.
“No!” Sin snapped, like the petulant arsehole he was. I could just make out his reflection in the mirror as he took a few more steps into my room. His expression morphed from righteous fury to concern as he got a look at me. “Dude. Are you okay? You look like shit.”
“Thanks,” I grumbled, dragging a hand over my nape as I took in my appearance. I did look like shit. Deep furrows marred a forehead that was never smooth to begin with, the weight of every wrong I’d ever done settling across my skin like a roadmap of my transgressions.
He continued to study me, eyes narrowed until he snapped his fingers and a crazed euphoria lit up his face. “Youdocare! All this time, you’ve been going on and on about duty and priorities, but you’re just as in love with her as the rest of us, you fucking faker.”
The fight that had eluded me came roaring back to life as I spun around and sent a few of the objects on the mantel flying. “Of course I fucking care!” I bellowed.
Sin leaned against one of the posts of my bed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Could have fooled me. Too bad you won’t be able to fix this with her. And what’s worse, by the way you toldit, none of us cared. You broke her with your indifference and ruined it for all of us. She’s never going to trust us again.”
Shame burned its way up the back of my neck. He was right. I knew it, but it didn’t make the facts any easier to accept. Exhausted by my emotional outburst, I couldn’t summon more than a gusty sigh.
“If you came here just to rail at me, I’m not interested,” I muttered, waving a hand at him dismissively. “Feel free to see yourself out.”
“Fuck no. You aren’t getting rid of me that easily, Grimsby. I see straight through you. You’re just as torn up as the rest of us.”
“So?”
“So the question now is, what the hell are you going to do about it?”
“I’ll talk to her. Explain the situation. She’ll understand if she lets?—”
The man made an annoying buzzer sound, cutting me off. “Ehhh, wrong answer. Try again.”
I sighed. “What would you have me do?”
“You’re going to need to grovel, my dude. Big time. We’re talking mega gesture here. Meet on the top of the Empire State Building level of gesture.”
“The Empire State Building was destroyed in th?—”
“It was just an example! Have you never read a romance novel?”
“No.”
Sin groaned and dragged a hand over his face. “Well, it fucking shows!”
“What the fuck is this?” Chaos growled, his violent energy permeating the room and causing everything not bolted down to shudder. “She’s fucking run off, and you two are in here doing nothing to find her.”
