The printer jammed for the third time that morning, producing half a page before grinding to a halt with an ominous whirring sound. I smacked it harder than necessary, which only made it beep angrily at me. I was in no mood for a printer to give me trouble. I had enough of that from people in my life, never mind inanimate objects.
Maybe not people in general.
Just one person.
Eliza.
She hadn’t made it to my flat last night, sending apologies and promises, just like she had for the past couple of weeks, along with a cryptic message.
I know what you’re thinking, but this isn’t it. I’m still here. I just have some really important things to work out first, and then I’ll be all yours. I promise. Trust me. Xxx
But I didn’t trust words. I trusted action.
Eliza’s actions were showing me in shocking clarity that she was pulling away, and there was nothing I could do about it.She was my worst fears imagined. But at least we hadn’t started calling each other girlfriend.
Hadn’t said the famous three words.
It didn’t count that I’d allowed myself to think them.
For now, I’d flushed them down the romance plughole.
I was readying myself to make peace with that. Be a mature adult. This had been an exciting interlude. Three months of push and pull, with hot sex thrown in. But now, it seemed like Eliza was calling time. I wrestled with the paper tray while balancing my phone between my shoulder and ear.
“We’re looking at eight new hires minimum.” Fiona’s voice was bright with excitement. “Ronnie’s training them up. And we’re pressing ahead with the new premises as Harvey has fast-tracked our council application.”
I finally freed the crumpled page and fed in a new sheet. “That’s incredible news. How’s the building coming along?”
“You should see it, Poppy. It’s like watching history come back to life. We’re keeping a bit of the old machinery as a nod to the history of the place, and our new equipment arrives next week. You need to come up and see it properly. Bring your brilliant sidekick back, too. She was quite the hit when she was here. You both need to see what you’ve achieved and what lies ahead.”
Brilliant was not a word I’d use to describe Eliza right now.“I’ll speak to Eliza when I see her.”
I had no idea when that might be. Was this what Michelle had to deal with? Eliza going into work mode, always being on, never having an off switch? Had she fucked Michelle and left her alone before the bed was even cold? Perhaps Michelle had reason to be as mad and move countries to shake Eliza from her system.
The printer finally cooperated, spitting out the first 48 hours’ numbers. Eliza had told me I should print it out and frame it.I’d noticed she liked to print out emails like she was from the 90s. I just wished she was here to share it with me. Without her, without my mum or gran, the success felt a little hollow. Margot couldn’t be counted on, and Amina and Katy had both chosen the same time to be away. It was just me, dealing with this alone. At least I had Fiona to share the excitement.
Maybe Fiona might adopt me if I asked nicely.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything you like, you know that.”
“When Mum took over the business, did she ever feel like she was doing it alone?” I felt guilty even voicing it, because Fiona had been by my side every step of the way. “You know what I mean? Like the buck truly does stop here?”
She took a moment before she replied.
“I think that comes with being the boss, hen. Even though your mum had me and your gran, I’m certain she felt alone at times. It’s lonely at the top. Plus, she never had a spouse to talk to after your dad legged it.”
Fiona tutted. “But she spoke to me and we talked things out. She always worried about the future, providing for you girls. It spurred her on to do what she did. You know, I’m always here if you need a sounding board, or a shoulder to cry on. I just assumed Eliza was doing that for you.”
I was learning the hard way, that assuming was a mug’s game.
CHAPTER 32
After talking to Fiona, it only made me determined to get to the bottom of what was going on. Because she was right. Eliza should be by my side. Even if we were just friends and colleagues, she at least owed me that.
Hence, after lunch, I got on the Victoria line and headed over to her place in Walthamstow, my stomach churning with a mixture of anticipation and dread.
The sound of drilling greeted me as I approached the Victorian terrace. Through the bay window, I could see ladders and a woman in overalls painting the walls a lovely shade of olive green. I smiled as I recalled Eliza telling me she hoped it didn’t make her want to drink gin martinis every day. I knocked on the front door, my heart trying to make a break for it.
