I sighed. “I know that. I’ve spent enough money on therapy.”
“Money well spent, by the way,” Amina replied. “My question is: you know it, but do you believe it? Because until you do, nothing is going to stick. You have to be open to things changing, otherwise they won’t.”
“Opening up right now is not an option. I have work to do. Besides, Eliza has kept it very professional since New York, because we both agreed that’s how it should be.”
Apart from those photos.
“I haven’t seen her much, she’s been away. I’ve tried to work it out of my system.”
“I can see that’s going really well.” Amina raised a single eyebrow. “She hasn’t been in touch at all?”
Blood rushed to my cheeks as I recalled her cocktail and poolside messages. I shook my head. Amina didn’t need to know everything.
“Just work stuff.”
She seemed to buy it. Or else, she knew time was running out because we needed to swap quiz sheets with the next table to mark them.
“When are you seeing her next?”
“Next weekend, start of June. We’re going to a festival in Suffolk. Roka’s playing and she’s given us VIP passes and we’re glamping for a night on the Saturday.”
Amina’s eyes went wide. “A weekend away? Just the two of you? When the last time you were away together, you ended up sucking face?”
I bristled. “Not a weekend away. It’s one night. And it’s work.”
“Dress it up however you want. This is a romantic weekend in the countryside with someone you’ve just discovered you have serious chemistry with, and you really think nothing’s going to happen?”
I stared at her. I’d convinced myself that by the time we got to the festival, the kiss would be very much in the rear-view mirror. But now I knew Amina was right. The last couple of weeks, Eliza hadn’t been far from my mind. Absence had definitely made my heart grow fonder.
Lust and panic fizzed through me like an Alka Seltzer. “What am I going to do?”
“You’re going to go to Suffolk and see what happens. And if something does happen, you’re going to call me immediately with all the details.”
“That’s your advice? See what happens?” I’d expected more. Amina had been in a relationship with her girlfriend, Noelle, for over five years. She was my romance role model.
“Poppy, you’ve been single forever. You either shag women or work constantly, and the last time you tried to date, it went very wrong.” Amina reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “For once in your life, if it feels right, just go with the flow. The worst that can happen is it’s awkward for a bit, and then you both move on.”
“The worst that can happen is we can’t work together, and then Margot sells the company.”
“Or,” Amina said with a grin, “the best that can happen is you have great sex and you figure shit out as you go along. Not everything has to be extremes. You’re both grown adults. Sex doesn’t have to be complicated.”
But even I knew that it normally was.
CHAPTER 17
The incense was so thick I could taste it, which wasn’t great as it was some sort of patchouli-sandalwood hybrid that reminded me of Amina’s flat at university. She’d got the flat cheap because there was no kitchen, just a kettle and a camping ring on top of a chest of drawers. Food hadn’t been a focus of her life back then.
Sage was clearly doing well with her business, as she now lived on a very fancy road where everyone had renovated their Victorian properties with the kind of aggressive enthusiasm that suggested they were competing to see who could cram the most skylights into one building. The room we were in looked out over a beautifully manicured back garden. Crystals of all shapes and sizes littered every surface, and there were enough candles to pose a serious fire risk.
“How have you been since I last saw you?” Sage asked. “You had a lot of decisions to make. Did you make them?” We both sat on her very squishy sofas.
I nodded. “I did. And you were right. A woman with blonde hair from my past did come back to help me.”
She shook her head. “I had nothing to do with it. I’m just the mouthpiece.” She gave a measured smile, but her gaze penetrated me.
I gulped.
Then, just as quickly as we sat, she jumped up. “You want tea or coffee? I’m going to make a strong pot if you’re interested?” She nodded towards the door. “Follow me to the kitchen?”
