“I’ve been in therapy for a while, Ivy. I was bound to pick up some things. And then there’s chatting with you that adds to all my knowledge.” She squeezes my hand. “Don’t push away real connection because of fear. Acknowledging, or even exploring, your attraction to Chad doesn’t mean an immediate relationship or marriage or whatever. Stay open to the experience.”
“I don’t know how you guys stand me at all,” I mutter, and Law and Carlie both laugh.
“Have you tried the lemon cheesecake cookies?” Law asks, changing the subject suddenly.
Carlie casually leans toward Law for a bite of his newest cookie—a quarter of the aforementioned lemon cheesecake—butI can’t help that my head whips in the direction of Chad’s room, where he’s strolling out toward us now. I have no chill at all.
Embarrassment rushes through me, even though he doesn’t give any indication that he heard our conversation, and we were speaking in quiet voices the whole time. It’s just that Carlie kept talking aboutmebeing open to the experience, but I don’t think Chad and I are on the same page, even if he did insist on me staying in his suite so he could help. He feels guilty! I took care of his girls and then got injured on an outing with them, even though that injury is totally my fault. I was the one staring gaga at Chad and not paying attention.
“Are there more traditions we need to check off?” I ask in a rush of words, trying to look innocent.
Chad’s face does turn confused, but with a slight smile, maybe at how awkward I’m being. “Yes,” he says, drawing out the word. His gaze bounces from me to Law to Carlie and back to Law.
Law blinks at him, his expression saying,What?
“Everything good out here?” Chad asks.
Law gives a sigh, and my heart speeds up. It’s totally awe’ve been caught, better ’fess upsigh. I know him. He was my best friend for almost ten years. What is he about to confess to?
“Ivy was telling us how embarrassed she is that you bought these expensive cookies, and she was trying to get us to help her sneakily pay you back,” Law says.
“Law!” Carlie smacks his arm like she’s scandalized by his behavior. “Ivy told you that in confidence.”
He grins. “I’m not a life coach. There’s no expectation of confidentiality.”
I finally start laughing. “You’re the worst,” I say.
He smirks at me.Or am I the best?his expression says.
Chad has turned away from me, heading for the closet by the door of the suite. “Touché,” I mouth to Law.
“You don’t need to pay me back,” Chad says, walking over to the closet. “I’m not trying tobribeyou or anything.” He shares alook with me that I know is friendly over our joke earlier, but given the conversation I just had … my cheeks flame even hotter.
I force a breathy laugh. “Okay, okay.”
Chad tilts his head at me in confusion over my reaction, and I want to slide down and into the floor and let it swallow me. I can feel the silent laughter coming from Law and Carlie, even though I refuse to look at them.
“To answer your earlier question, Ivy …” Chad shakes his head a little and opens the closet, pulling out a suitcase and rolling it toward us. “There is another tradition to take care of tonight. Helping out Santa.” He plops the suitcase on the ground and kneels next to it to unzip it. He starts pulling things out. “Ivy, you can be in charge of stuffing stockings.” He hands me a pile of stockings, which look handmade. I hold one up, staring at Zoey’s name stitched across the top. “Shelby got them off Etsy,” Chad says dryly. “Something about cottage chic Christmas décor.” He shrugs and hands me more packages. It’s small toys, books, and candy to distribute between the three stockings, and then he tosses a Yeti coffee mug and some kind of tool on my lap too.
“Did you buy your own stocking stuffers?” I ask, frowning at the idea that he had to do that.
He grins. “Who else was going to?” Then he breaks into another laugh. “Don’t look at me like that, Ivy. Shelby never bought this stuff either. It’s fine. I always get exactly what I want from Santa.”
I nod, trying not to stare and feel sorry for him. I don’t know Shelby. I don’t want to judge her, but she has done Chad wrong in so many ways, and this is the least of it. Her faults are much worse than not buying him little surprises for his stocking, but I can’t stop thinking about how much that sucks even if it’s small.
Chad has already moved on. He’s taking out some wrapped presents, handing them to Carlie to put underneath the mini tree set up in the corner of the room.
The desire to take care of him, even this small thing, hits mehard. I pull out my phone while he’s distracted with Law, handing him a small set of Barbie furniture to put together. I open a grocery delivery app and quickly search for dark chocolate mint M&Ms. When Chad glances over at me, I set my phone down, like I was looking at a text or something, and separate a few more things between the girls’ stockings.
It takes several minutes and some more fake texting, but I order the M&Ms and leave emphatic instructions not to knock and to leave it in front of my hotel room door. I smile to myself, little sparks of warmth spreading through me.
I’m doing terrible at managing this crush, but it’s Christmas. I’ll enjoy the moment—be open to the experience—and then go home and forget about all of this.
Probably.
CHAPTER 10
CHAD
