“Buy you cookies?” I look over my shoulder at her. She’s encouraged me in her subtle ways to talk about a lot of my past trauma with Shelby, but she hasn’t shared very much about herself. I’m curious about her past relationships and how they play a part in her decision not to have a boyfriend. Maybe knowing more will help me?—
Wait. I’m not trying to fix her so I can pursue her. That’s exactly what I thought with Shelby and look how that turned out.
“No,” Ivy says. “Buying me stuff. He loved buying stuff for me, but I think he was trying to bribe me.”
I hold up my hands. “No bribes here. You’ve had a hard day, and you deserve good cookies.”
“Funny.” She cocks an eyebrow at me. “Malcolm would say the same things, when what he was doing was trying to make up for putting off marrying me.”
I really like her smile, especially this sassy, teasing one. Her entire face is glowing, and that smile has been making me feel lighter every time I’m with her.
“I’m also not trying to make up for not marrying you.” I give her a faux-apologetic shrug and turn to the pot of boiling water to busy myself with making dinner. It’s easy to tease her and fall into this comfortable back-and-forth. Just because we have chemistry doesn’t mean it has to be romantic. It can be platonic.
Sure, Chad. Keep telling yourself that.
She laughs in an airy way, and I glance at her to see that her cheeks have turned an enchanting shade of pink. “Good to know.”
“Whydidn’the marry you?” I ask, trying to sound conversational. Also trying to convince myself that knowing isn’t the key to solving the Ivy puzzle and figuring out why, even though she clearly loves spending time with my girls, she’s not looking for serious relationships that will lead to her having a family of her own.
“I don’t know,” she says in a contemplative voice. “I think his mom didn’t approve.” Her voice rises as she says that, like it’s a question. “But I kept hoping I’d be enough.” She gives a short, dry laugh full of self-recrimination. “If I’d been coaching myself, I would have pointed out that all the excuses and all the waiting was communicating what I didn’t want to hear. That it was never going to be enough. That if someone wanted to be a meaningful part of my life, I didn’t need to chase them.”
I look up and meet her eyes and understanding passes between us.
A quiet settles over the room as I contemplate her words andwork on dinner. Ivy’s confession about her relationship with Malcolm did give me reasons, between the lines, for why she’s wary of relationships.
Oh, is that what I’m calling it now? Justwary?I can’t kid myself. I’m making it sound like an easy obstacle for us to get over. I need to put all thoughts of dating her aside. She’s too young for me, and it’s too complicated. Besides, until I change something about my job—which I’m still considering more and more—I’mwaryof a relationship too.
Still, I’ve thought about dating again. About getting married. That’s what any relationship I pursue would be about. With the girls to consider, I have to be careful. Any woman I date has to be ready for a serious commitment.
I’m leaning hard on Carlie right now to provide the positive, motherly influence that the girls need, but I need to think about the future too. Carlie won’t be with us forever. I’ve always thought maybe I’d run into a single mom somewhere and we’d hit it off. That makes the most sense for someone my age and in my stage of life.
Where I’d run into this hypothetical single mom is hard to say, considering I’m either at work or at home with the girls and hardly anywhere else.
So it’s not surprising that after the last couple days, my brain is starting to suggest that someone like Ivy would be perfect.
SomeonelikeIvy, I insist. That’s what all my justifying is about.
Not Ivy herself.
Even if our conversation is easy and friendly and a little bit flirty and fun.
I turn around and find both girls snuggled in Ivy’s lap as they watch the movie.
My breath catches.
Ivy has her cheek against the top of Zoey’s head and Scarlett curled up tightly under her arm. Both girls have stayed awayfrom her injured leg, still propped on the ottoman. Ivy looks utterly content, with a slight smile on her face.
Well. As Scarlett would say, I’m cooked.
CHAPTER 9
IVY
Law and Carlie sit on the couch next to the chair I’m lounging in, both of them laser focused on me despite the positively divine plate of cookies sitting on the small coffee table in front of them. My first sampling was a quarter of a chocolate cookie with mint frosting that’s just the right amount of minty and not too overpowering. There are still six large cookies of various flavors left, but I told Carlie to try these chocolate ones because they’re the best.
And also because I hoped that Carlie would stop side-eyeing me with curiosity.
Now that Chad is putting the girls to bed in his bedroom, they have their opening to start peppering me with questions. Well, Carlie has. Law’s just sitting there looking smug, like he’s somehow responsible for the fact that there might be some sparks between me and Chad. Little do they know that all the sparks are on my side.
