The day was suddenly looking up for Mateo.
Chapter 8
Hedidn’tbothertocall ahead; he went straight to Isadora’s apartment.
She opened the door, her eyes wary, “Oh, it’s you. Did you forget something? Your balls, your pride?”
“Are you alone, or will I find a class of elementary schoolers, a marching band, or more police officers? I have something I want to say without an audience.”
“Only me and my imaginary cat.”
“I’ll take it.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her close. He kissed her, and even though she responded, it was different. Hungrier, needier, angrier.
He let go of her as quickly as he started. She glared at him, panting. “That’s it?”
“Isadora, you’re right about me. I’m not a perfect person. I’m probably not even a good person. I’m commitmentphobic and can be a misogynistic jerk.”
“This is not going down in history as the greatest apology ever. I haven’t even heard an ‘I’m sorry.’” She rested a hand on her flushed lips.
“I’m not going to apologize to you. I haven’t done anything to apologize for. I’m allowed to have reservations about women in firefighting.”
“Then you can leave the way you came.” She put her hand on the door, giving him the exit he’d given her days ago.
He blocked it by sidling in front of her, getting right up in her face. “I’m allowed to feel how I feel, but I’m not allowed to treat her differently because of how I feel. I filed an appropriate and truthful report recommending increased responsibilities for firefighter McClunis.”
“It was nice of you to do that for her.”
“I’m not nice.” He lifted her chin and stared her directly in the eye. “I don’t want her at my firehouse. It’s not because she’s bad. It’s because we’re a traditional place, and change comes hard. But someone had to change to let a Spic like me in. The same way that you got your shot in PD.”
“At least it’s something.” She tried to turn away.
He let her go since she let him further into her kitchen. “Cordova will never forgive me. I might have shot my own career in the foot.”
“You did the right thing.” She hadn’t gone more than a few feet away, which was progress.
He chuckled bitterly, “Doing the right thing is so fucking difficult. And I’m not a martyr, but the look on your face in my bedroom… It hurt more than a thousand bites from that grizzly bear.”
She poked him in the chest. “I doubt that.”
He kissed her hand. “I’m being honest. How am I doing?”
“I’ve seen worse.”
If he was going to burn, might as well incinerate himself now. “I have to tell you something else. I asked Leslie out for a drink.”
“You!” He dodged getting slapped but caught her wrist, pulling her against him.
“I had to. I needed to clear the air. Otherwise I’d never stop wondering.”
“And?” The pause was definitely pregnant.
“She told me to take a long walk off a short pier.¡No va a pasar!” He used a considerably more restrained version of 'ain't gonna happen' than Leslie had used on him.
“Good for her. I’m thinking of doing the same. Was this last shift?” Isadora trembled in his arms.
“Yes.”
“So you’re asking me to take you back because your littlecanelowasn’t interested?”
