It was early, but she had to tell him how she felt. There would never be another first time for her to say the words.
She needed her hands free, so she turned away, wiping the tears away to plop her water on the coffee table.
Unfortunately, it bounced and poured water on his papers.
“Crap.” She swept the glass out of the way and started picking up the papers. Erin’s eyes caught on the words, and her happiness came to a full and complete stop.
“What is this, Noah?” She held up the drenched pieces of paper.
His blue eyes didn’t meet hers, and his whole demeanor changed.
“A press release about the closure of Firehouse 15 and the retirement of Battalion Chief Leslie McClunis?” She snatched another paper off the table. It detailed strategy for the political fallout of backpedaling on the integration progress of women into the CCFD.
“They’re Hannah Fitzpatrick’s contingency statements. For most firefighters, McClunis’s injuries would be career ending. The fate of Firehouse 15 is still being determined,” he said evenly in the voice she associated with Baker, not Noah.
His eyes lied when he glanced down and moved to pick up a set of papers her water had spared.
Too slow. She already had them, and she fixed her eyes on his face. “Sounds like it’s a done deal since this order transfers Erin Hudgens to Firehouse 13. How could you do this to me?”
“To you? No one is doing anything to you. Chief Cordova requested closure of 15 due to unsustainable staffing issues.” His voice was carefully controlled. “Your down to four members out of ten.”
“There’s five of us. Don’t forget Carver.”
He gave her a look that made her feel like she missed the obvious. “Carver’s going to Rescue Alpha next year, as promised to MetroGen.”
“He was never intended to be part of our family, was he? You let us think he was supposed to be one of us. I’ve been risking my life for someone who you never intended to be a firefighter,” Erin said with growing horror.
“I put Jacob Carver on what I had believed was the most diverse team with the best response times.” Baker was matter of fact.
“And now you’re discarding us. We served our purpose. You stood up at that press conference and said 15 was the future of the CCFD!’ I believed you.I believed in you.” Her voice caught on the last word.
“CCFD is not just 15. We’re facing losing Rescue Alpha and the support of MetroGen. I only have a finite amount of political capital. I need to save the programs I can. I can’t afford to pour more resources into 15 when there’s a viable alternative at 13,” Baker said without flinching. “You said yourself they could be a good team someday.”
“They’re notmyteam. We were having problems, but we’re working it out,” Erin’s voice shook, unable to comprehend the juxtaposition between Noah and Chief Baker. “I thought Soto was the biggest threat to my team, when it was staring me in the face every day.”
He didn’t appreciate her thoughts. “These are command decisions. They’re not personal. They’re simply necessary.”
“Necessary? Evil Sith Lord, tell me how the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few?” Erin hissed as the person she thought she knew transformed into someone else before her very eyes.
No, that was wrong. She’d always known who he was from the first day when he confronted her in the hallway. She had known. She simply didn’t want to believe it.
“I was doing my job.” Baker hit back in the coldest voice imaginable. “It has nothing to do with us.”
“Nothing to do with us? Yes, because when I’m not on my back I’m a faceless piece of ass that you can move wherever it suits you,” she accused him.
She wasn’t the only one with claws. “What did you think was going to happen, Erin? That your team could stay together after this year?”
“You captained us. You said we were family. You said the fire department was a family. I thought… I thought you were ruthless and manipulative that first day. Instead I let you convince me that you were—” She stopped and dropped the papers on the coffee table.
“That I was what?”
“That you were a kind sweet person underneath the steel. Who was a little geeky and lonely… That you were good and honorable and… I was wrong.” She dropped her eyes and leafed through the papers on the coffee table.
“Erin, it’s not like that,” his voice almost sounded like Noah again, but she wasn’t in any mood to listen anymore.
“No? Look me in the eye and tell me that these are the actions of a good honest person.” She raised her gaze and stared into his eyes.
Baker didn’t move or flinch.
