I nodded and glanced at Bec, who was smiling ear to ear. Her shirt… well, my shirt that she’s wearing had been completely soaked through. Her long hair was pinned back in a messy bun, and her cheeks were flushed, but she was happy. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”
“I did,” Bella explained. “When you talked about her, you always had this aura and lightness about you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, closing the employee file I had just finished—this one about Melissa.
Bella sat on the stool next to me. The restaurant was closed for two hours every day between lunch and dinner. It had been the perfect time to get Bec out of the house without exposing her.
The family restaurant looked the same as it had the day it had opened—Mateo and my mom were creatures of habit. The restaurant hadn’t aged a day, and was in excellent condition. Being here felt like a warm hug full of nostalgia, as it always brought up memories of my childhood. My first job was as a busboy in these walls. I had spent countless hours here, helping to clean, run food, and even prep ingredients when we were desperate.
“I know we haven’t spent a lot of time with each other as adults, but I’d like to think that I know you better than most,” Bella began. “I’ve never seen you talk about a person the way you do her. Bec is flawless in your eyes. She can do no wrong. It’s almost like…” She sighed and thought over her words, “It’s like you worship her. Which I would, too. I mean, have you seen her?”
I huffed a laugh, “Of course I worship her, she’s perfect.”
Bella raised a brow, “And she’s perfect for you.”
I shook my head. “She is so far out of my league. Bella, I didn’t even go to college, and she holds a law degree. I’m terrified that one day she’s going to realize how much better she can do.”
Bella huffed a laugh, “If you're so head over heels for her now, why didn’t you initiate something earlier? You’ve never been one to wait for the woman to make the first move.”
“I don’t think I allowed myself to entertain the possibility of having feelings for her, because I had never dreamed she could feel the same way about me.”
“Do you think this…thingbetween you two is a long-term thing?” Bella asked.
I nodded, “It’s a forever thing for me.”
Bella smiled widely. “Good, you deserve some happiness in your life.”
I looked at her, confused, “I’ve always been happy.”
Bella rolled her eyes. “You’re very good at showing the world a happy face. Plastering on that smile that comes so easily. But it’s been different since you came home. I can see it all weighing on you… everything you’ve seen and done. You don’t need to pretend that being in the Army for so long was all sunshine and roses. I know it wasn’t. Bec here is bringing back that true happiness you’ve been missing.”
I sighed, “Am I really that bad of an actor?”
She shook her head. “The opposite. I just know you really well. Something has your mind…” she paused as she looked for the best word, “…screwy. It haunts you. I can see it.”
“I really fucked up, Bella,” I explained and played with my pen as I spoke. “In the last assignment, I didn’t do my job… and I just can’t move on from it.”
“With Malachi?” she asked. I nodded in affirmation. She sighed and took my hand in hers. “Maybe give him a call back and actually talk to him about it. Your best friend misses you, and it may be the first step to finally being able to move on.”
I wish it were that simple. I couldn't talk to Malachi without remembering that night. The sound of my bones snapping as I desperately tried to get to Malachi beforehecould. The manI thought I could trust, the man I did trust for years… he’d betrayed us. I had practically grown up with Damien in the Army. The things we saw together had bonded us in ways I couldn’t even begin to explain. He wasn’t just a teammate but a brother. But he turned on us, especially Malachi.
It should have been routine, keeping Malachi safe from the people who wanted to hurt him and use him for their own purposes. But Damien helped those people, and had nearly killed me in the process. I screamed and yelled, praying to God that Malachi would wake up and know to get ready. But it was worthless. I ended up unconscious on the ground, unable to help one of the most important people in my life.
Yeah, they were fine now. But it wasn’t because of me, it wasdespiteme. Despite my choices.
“Rome?” I heard my voice being called, but it sounded like I was underwater, as the memories crashed through my brain like waves during a hurricane.
Replaying that night, wondering if there was anything I could have done differently.
“Rome,” Bec’s damp hand landed on my cheek.
I snapped back into the moment. Bella had a look of concern as she scanned my face, while Bec’s eyes shone with compassion.
I leaned into her touch, “I’m sorry.”
Bec smiled fondly and lightly kissed me, “Don’t be. Whenever you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
“I know,” I whispered.
