“Will,” Jackie asked from across the table, “are you okay?”
Will cleared his throat in a pathetic attempt to disguise his laughter, “Yep, yeah, of course. Just caught something in my throat.”
Jackie didn’t look convinced, but dropped the subject, turning her attention back to my mom.
“Shut the fuck up,” I murmured and shoved a spoonful of soup into my mouth.
Will continued to giggle softly, “This is the greatest thing that’s happened all week. You’re having an entire conniption overRome.I could not have guessed this with a gun to my head.”
I kicked his foot under the table, “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m a grown woman who is allowed to have feelings.”
Will raised his hands in surrender. “You’re not the surprising part.Heis.” He motioned to Rome with his head. “I can’t believe he managed to win you over. I thought you wanted to twist his head off most days.”
I shrugged, “I did, but I think it was out of affection?”
“Are you asking me?” Will asked.
“Oh my god, I don’t know! It’s not like we had a great example of expressing emotions in our household. I’m doing my best here,” I shout-whispered.
“Eh, I can’t judge you… though, I really want to,” Will explained. “I was the same way with Jackie. I think we’re both emotionally constipated.”
I chucked a crouton at his head. “Speak for yourself. I am incredibly attuned with my emotions.”
Will looked at me skeptically, which… valid.
“Shut up,” I grumbled again and focused back on my plate.
This dinner had not been going well for me. Between my swirling emotions and trying to avoid Rome, I was on the brink of a complete nervous breakdown.
Rome had spent the majority of the evening talking with my mom and Jackie… and trying to get my attention. I couldn’t believe I ran from him. It was the coward's way out, but it was the only way that felt safe. I was beginning to notice a pattern of fleeing when I felt out of control. And Rome had a habit of making me feelcompletelyout of control.
“Bec,” he whispered from across the table.
But I dutifully ignored him, pretending to focus on my mom’s conversation… though, I couldn’t tell you what she was talking about if my life depended on it. Will continued to laugh in silent shakes next to me and I kicked his shin again… he deserved it, that jerk.
“Bec,” Rome whispered again, loud enough that Jackie could hear this time. She was now glancing between Will and me in confusion. We must have been quite the pair to witness. The two siblings, known for being cold and in control, having two different breakdowns over here. Will’s face was growing red from the exertion of holding in laughter, and mine was from embarrassment.
I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t be in this room for one more second. I stood abruptly, my chair screeching behind me, “I need a minute. You know… lady troubles.” I all but ran away from the table.
I could hear the laughter from Will finally break free as my mom and Jackie asked him what was going on. I navigated through the house and out the front door. I didn’t stop until I was in the middle of the empty street… the cold air piercing my lungs with each breath.
“What the fuck, Bec?” I mumbled to myself. I needed a good scolding for how I was acting, but I had no control over my body or emotions at that moment.
“Bec.” I whirled quickly to see Rome standing at the edge of the street. His hands were in his pockets and his brows drawn in concern, but that same, beautiful light in his eyes was brighter than I had ever seen.
I clasped my hand over my racing heart, “Don’t do that! I nearly screamed. How do you move so quietly?”
He raised his hands in surrender, “I’ll wear a bell going forward. No need to give you a heart attack.”
I laughed despite myself. “What are you doing out here?”
He looked around and took a step forward. “I thought that was pretty obvious. I’m here to get some answers that you owe me.”
“Nope,” I exclaimed, pointing my finger at him, “stay right there. No getting closer. It’s not allowed.”
He laughed and rolled his eyes. “Will you at least tell me what you meant up there? What do you mean you want me to be more than your friend?”
“I don’t know!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands out to the side. “I have literally no idea! I just know I don’t like it when you say you're my friend. I know I didn’t like it when that waitress flirted with you! Okay? I have no idea what I’m doing here, and I hate it.”
