With his head tilted back, Saer tightened his hold on the hairs at the back of his neck, hoping the minor pain might help him find the words he needed.
“It’s difficult to be around you again,” he confessed, the words quiet and damning.
“I can’t help what I am,” Neyu said.
“You know that’s not the issue.”
“Saer.”The demoness stood and walked towards him.Saer took a step back but she whispered, “Shh, don’t.”
He stiffened at the words, but remained in place.Neyu raised a hand and pressed her palm to his cheek, and his eyes fluttered shut.
“Neyu…”
“I have thought about what I would say to you, so many times.”Neyu’s voice came soft, belying her next words.“I was angry at you.Unbelievably angry, for so many years.”
It stung to hear, and he had enough of a mind to admit he’d have felt the same—because he’d raged against himself for the decision to leave after their one night together.
A conflicted growl rumbled in Saer’s throat, and he tried to pull away, but his demoness inched closer, refusing to let him leave her proximity.“You didn’t let me say goodbye.You kissed me.You left me.You summoned our kin, but never me.”
The hurt in her words threatened to rip him in two.
How did she balance him at the same time she unsteadied him?
For the first time in decades, peace tried to worm its way into his heart at the lightest touch of her hand.
His match.
Saer let out a shaking breath.“I can’t allow you to be hurt, punished, or taken away from us all.I want to keep you safe.”
“I know, Dearest.”
Dearest.
The First blinked his eyes open to see her, so near, and his heart leapt into his throat.
“This is dangerous, Neyu.Our maker—”
“He won’t find out.”
Saer answered as though the fallen angel were in the room with them.“You know what would happen.”
“We can’t change what we want or feel.”
“Wanting and feeling are human things, Neyu.”She didn’t stop him when he tore away from her grasp.
“We learn.We grow and change.We could be unstoppable.”
Saer paced away from her, then whispered more to himself than the demoness, “So you’ve said before.”
‘Welcome, my First, my son, and servant.I’ve created you, and so you belong to me wholly and completely.You are bound to protect me, obey me, honor me, and put no one above me…’
“No one is above our maker.We agreed.We both agreed, and if we don’t…I can’t risk it,” Saer muttered under his breath.I can’t risk losing you.
Neyu grasped Saer’s elbow to stop him.“We deserve more than we are given.”
“No, Neyu.”
“Yes, Saer.”She dug her fingers into his leather coverings and pulled him to her as she lifted herself to her toes.
