“No.”Saer took another step backwards as Errshek staggered forward.
“Please, Eldest.I’m not afraid anymore.”Errshek extended a beckoning hand, and Pride swiped it away with a snarl, backing up further.
“I should have died that day,” Errshek cried.
“No, Errsheken!”Saer roared above the thunder, and the younger demon’s discolored and damaged face crumbled.Errshek’s feet stumbled, and he bent again in half, crestfallen.
Saer rebelled against the uncomfortable sensation unwinding in his guts, a sense of wrongness and dread, though too unsettled to delineate why.
To end Errshek’s being would end his suffering.To unmake him would give him what he wanted.
Who would Envy be without wanting?
‘Do you have any concept of what it is to want?To reallywantand know that’s all there is?’
“I can’t go on like this!”Errshek may have been howling to no one or everyone.Whosoever would listen.“Ihatethis life, this shell, these thoughts!I can’t—” His voice cracked.“I should have died that day,” he repeated with a whimper, then fell silent once more.
Everything wrathful drained out of Saer’s body, leaving behind …
It must have been the part of him which hosted Neyu.Pride himself would never admit to feeling as much for the one he’d held responsible for the murder of his beloved.For the one who, moments ago, admitted to conspiring to end his own existence.
And yet …
Pity.
Pity for the husk before him exuding worthlessness.Who always twisted it to self-deprecation on his best day and—as became increasingly apparent to Saer—wishing for a final end on his worst.
Pity that Saer would not do as Errshek begged him to, even though it had been his intent from the start.
Saer hesitated, rocking on his feet while Errshek wept.Envy cried for himself, but Saer recognized the loss he mirrored.Grief for the demoness they each cherished beyond their making, beyond reason.
That, more than anything, made Saer close the distance between their bodies and, after another brief pause, he gathered the shuddering younger demon in his arms and embraced him.Bawling, despite the pain which must have come with each breath, Errshek clasped Saer in turn as though he held the last solid thing on earth.
Neyu was unmade, but we’re the ones who are punished.The thought came to Saer’s mind, and again, a sense of foreboding fluttered in his abdomen.
With thunder to cover his sobs and rain to hide his tears, the unenviable Envy allowed himself to be comforted by the—against all odds—humbled Pride.
40
SaerconvincedErrshektolie on the small camp bed under his canopy after he wore himself out with crying.He fed more wood into the fire, providing a stronger blaze to facilitate Envy’s healing.
Hours stood between him and sunrise, and his plagued mind wouldn’t allow him to pass any of the time in sleep.
Errshek’s breathing shifted from stilted hiccups to lengthy inhales and exhales, a sure sign he’d left consciousness at last.
Alive.
Everything he’d worked towards, all the endless years he’d held revenge like a bleeding, raw piece of meat between his teeth had, in the span of a few precious hours, turned to rot.Purpose had existed where sickening decay now settled in.Previously robust fury against the one he’d hunted turned as brittle as the moment love dies.
Was it all for nothing?
Had his time been wasted and worthless between Neyu’s death and finding Errshek?
Saer dissected his maker’s moves with more scrutiny than he ever had, picking apart the pieces like a thick, encrusted scab.The struggle to put himself in the mindset of Lucifer ached, and stabbed, and seared all at once.With the same exertion it took to recall a dream upon waking, pulling it desperately from the back of his reluctant brain, truth materialized.The notion that, perhaps, Errshek might be a victim as much as Neyu.As much as he.
Which meant...
Lucifer learned from Errshek of Saer and Neyu’s devotion to one another.Their maker wouldn’t have missed Errshek’s fondness for the Second.When it became apparent Saer and Errshek were both in love with Neyu, willing to dedicate themselves to her above even their maker, the simplest solution and the greatest lesson was to destroy her.
