But no. I wasn’t going to think that way. I remembered something that Brooke had said to me at a recent session:Don’t let fear rob you of joy.
So now, I let out the smile that I was feeling and nodded. “I am. I really am. I mean, life isn’t perfect. I’m still nervous about motherhood, and sometimes, I wonder how I’m going to juggle everything. But I’m trying to take it all one day at a time.”
“That’s the only way to do it,” Emma agreed. “By the way, I saw the statement that Noah and the Tampa team issued jointly—about the two of you expecting a baby, asking the press to respect your privacy during this time. Did it work?”
“Surprisingly, it did.” I shrugged. “The PR department suggested that mentioning Angela might be helpful, reminding everyone of what Noah’s gone through since he’s been part of the team. Noah was a little hesitant at first, but I think that’s probably what did the trick. Instead of remembering the guy who went a little nuts last year, they’re recalling how devoted he and Angela were. So now the stories tend to be about him finding happiness again.” I managed a smile. “As long as they don’t bother us, I don’t care what they write. Those two weeks when they were camped outside my front door and my office—it was horrible.”
“Has Noah heard anything from Zeke? Or Juliet?”
“Not to my knowledge.” And I knew that Noah would’ve told me—his honesty was total. “I guess they’re living in her house in Tampa. She quit her job with the team. I hope everything works for them both.”
“Yeah.” Emma rolled her eyes. “She’s a piece of work, that one. I hope Zeke realizes what he’s gotten himself into.” She cocked her head. “And what about you and Noah? How’s everything with the two of you?”
I sighed. “I’m taking that one day at a time, too. We’re doing okay. Living together has been an adjustment, but Noah’s so easy. He’s patient with me, and if I start taking everything too seriously and get upset, he makes me laugh.” I smiled. “I didn’t think it was going to work. I figured he’d get bored and take off, or I’d drive him crazy and he’d get sick of me and move out. But so far, he’s been a saint.”
Emma quirked one eyebrow. “A saint? Noah? I’m not sure we’re talking about the same guy.” She grinned. “Whereisthe saint, anyway?”
“Parking the truck. He let me off here so that I didn’t have to slog through the mud. The rain’s been crazy lately.”
“It has been, but this farmer’s not complaining. It’s been great growing weather.” Emma rubbed her hands. “The early tomatoes are in, and they are delicious.”
“Yeah, I’m well aware that it’sgrowingseason.” I rubbed my bump, smiling as the baby kicked against my hand.
“You’re just adorable.” Emma beamed. “We’re going to be out on the porch. I planned for inside or out, depending on the weather, but since today dawned sunny and dry, I decided we’d take advantage of it.”
“Who’s here already?” I inquired. “I saw a couple of cars.”
“Anna, Darcy, and Mira. They got here early to decorate, and of course, they brought food, too.”
“I have to admit, I wasn’t sure about your idea of throwing me a shower, but now that the day’s here, I’m pretty excited.” I followed Emma through the cabin toward the back porch. “I’ve never been the guest of honor at any party before.”
“Never?” Emma glanced at me over her shoulder. “What about when you were engaged to Tom?”
I shook my head. “His parents wanted to do an engagement party, but neither of us was interested. And my bridal shower was supposed to happen the week after Tom was killed.” I shivered, remembering. “Instead, we had his memorial service that day.”
“Hey.” Emma turned to face me before she opened the door. “All of that—all the bad stuff—it’s behind you now. Nothing but blue skies and sunshine, right?”
I took a deep breath. “I’m not letting fear rob me of joy,” I promised, repeating my mantra.
“Good. Now be warned—these ladies are more than a little excited. I wouldn’t be surprised if they squealed. You’ve been warned.”
She opened the door and held it for me as I walked onto the porch, my breath catching. It was beautiful. The busy worker bees had used fresh flowers, silk bunting, and hand-lettered signs to turn the space into a celebration of babies and springtime. I felt the familiar prickling of tears and tried to tamp them down.
“Oh, Emma. This is too much. It’s just—it’s perfect.” I reached to hug her, sniffling. “Thank you so much—for everything. Not just for today, but for being my rock all during this time. I can’t imagine how I would’ve gotten through this pregnancy without you.”
“Hey. No tears, and no thanks necessary. This is what friends do.” She patted my cheek. “We’re here for each other, no matter what. Thick or thin and all that.”
“Oh! Look, Alison’s here!” Anna had spotted me across the porch and was heading my way.
“Here come the squeals. Five, four, three, two . . .”
She was right. There was lots of squealing. And it was all glorious.
* * *
“Oh, my gosh. Look at this. It’s so tiny!”
I lifted a precious white cotton sleeper from the gift bag, holding it aloft so that everyone could coo over it. The front of the little outfit was embroidered with ducks and bunnies—and, I saw with a smile, there were miniature stethoscopes and footballs mixed in, too.
