I grinned at her. "Message received, hot wheels." I winked. “I won't be longer than fifteen or twenty minutes. Then I'll be back up to make sure you don't leave me in the dust.”
Downstairs, I stepped out of the lobby into the bright sunshine and cool air of the January morning. This was my favorite time of year in Florida. We still had bright blue skies and sunshine, but the dreaded humidity was much lower, and the breeze held just the slightest tinge of chill. It would've been a perfect morning to go running, I thought, if I'd had two good knees. And if I didn't have a woman upstairs depending on me.
That thought spurred me on to what I had to do next. It wasn't going to be pretty. I was ashamed to say that I hadn't even thought of Juliet until Alison had mentioned her this morning while she was giving me the bullet points of reasons why I wasn't dependable enough to move in with her.
Juliet wasn't going to stop me from doing what I knew was right, what I wanted to do. But I also realized that I owed her at least the courtesy of a call and an explanation.
She answered on the first ring, her voice bright and chirpy. "Well, hello there, honey bear!" she exclaimed. "I was beginning to think you'd forgotten all about little old me."
I winced a little, knowing that she'd hit the truth on the head. "Sorry about that, JC," I responded, keeping my voice just as breezy as hers. "I've been at the hospital since I left you yesterday."
"I hope Alison and the baby are okay." Juliet lost some of her gaiety and sounded sincere.
"They both are,” I acknowledge. “Alison’s got a pretty bad case of the flu, so they kept her overnight for observation and to get her started on the meds. I'm taking her home sometime today." I paused, taking a deep breath. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Juliet. When I take Alison home today, I'm staying with her."
"Staying with her?" Juliet echoed. "What does that mean? For how long? Overnight? For a few days? Until she's feeling better?"
"I'm moving in with her, Juliet. At least until the baby’s born. She needs somebody there, and she doesn't have anyone else. Even if she did, I wouldn't want anybody else with her. The baby is mine, and that makes Alison my responsibility as well." The truth was that I didn't see Alison or the baby as burdens or responsibilities that I had to shoulder, but I wasn't going into that with Juliet right now. It was frankly none of her business.
“You're moving in with her?" Juliet was dismayed. "Seriously, Noah? Do you know what that's going to look like? It's going to come out. You know it is. The press is going to be writing about how you dumped me to be with your baby mama. And because this is the way things work, you'll look like a hero, and I’ll look like the loser. The woman who was trying to keep you from your child."
"You know what, Juliet?" I growled. "I don't give a flying fuck what it looks like or what people are going to say. Let them write or say whatever the hell they want. I'm doing what's right, and I'm not going to waste even one second worrying about how it looks. I'm sorry if you get caught in the crossfire here, but we both know that you don't love me. You're not going to run off with a broken heart. If you want to paint yourself as the injured party, give weepy interviews and try to convince the world that I did you wrong, go right ahead. I promise I won't say anything to contradict you."
"You think it's so easy, don't you, Noah?” Juliet jeered. “You think that you can just make decisions like this, and everything's going to work out. But that's not what happens. Whether you like it or not, there's going to be a perception out there, and it's going to be me who pays the price.”
I shrugged even though I knew she couldn't see me. “I'm really sorry about that, Juliet. Honestly, I am. But I can't do anything about it, and worrying about what might or might not be written isn't a good enough reason for me not to do the right thing here. And there's not a single question in my mind that I’m making the right choice.”
She was quiet for so long that I took the phone away from my ear to make sure she hadn’t hung up. When she did answer me, her voice was resigned.
“All right, Noah. Have it your way.” She paused. “I assume you'd like me to come over and get my stuff out of your house? I meant to take it the other day, but I ended up leaving in a hurry.”
"You still have my key,” I reminded her. “Go over whenever you want, get what you need. And then just give the key back to Zeke, okay?"
"Sure,” Juliet mocked. “We've come full circle now, haven't we, Noah?"
I braced my hand against the hard, cool stone of the hospital wall. "Whether you realize it or not, Juliet, I never meant to hurt you," I said quietly. “I made some really stupid decisions in the last few months. I acted in ways that I’m not proud of. You weren't the only one to get caught in the crossfire, but I'm sorry that you were one of the people who did."
"That's me. Just another bad decision," she said bitterly. “Just another regret. Don't worry about me, Noah. I'm strong. I'll bounce back from this.”
I hesitated, wondering whether I should ask my next question or just leave it alone. “What you going to do now? Are you going to stay in Tampa?”
"I don't know, and honestly, Noah, it's none of your business,” she snapped. “If I decide I want to start up a strip club and sell dances to horny football players, what's it to you? You've made your choice. Now the rest of us get to live with it."
I knew she was being unfair. I knew she was speaking out of frustration and wounded pride. But despite all the ways that this woman had complicated my life recently, I couldn't find it in myself to feel anything but sorry for her.
“Whatever you decide to do, I know you're going to do it well, JC," I said softly. “And if I can ever help you out in any way, if you need anything –"
"I won't," she bit out. “I don't need a damn thing from you, Noah, except for you to just leave me alone. Have a nice life.”
And this time, when the silence stretched on, she really had hung up.
With a sigh that was partly regret but mostly relief, I tried to put her out of my mind as I made the other necessary calls, the ones I had mentioned to Alison. I called my housekeepers and dropped their visits to once a month for the foreseeable future, telling them only that I was going to be out of town. That wasn't unusual; when Angela was alive, we had always taken an extended trip to Wisconsin at the end of the football season to catch up with family and friends.
Then I called Coach, hoping like hell I got his voicemail and could leave a message. Of course, that wasn’t how it happened.
"Spencer,” he barked. “What the hell is going on now?”
I swallowed hard. “Sir,” I began. “First, I want to apologize for what happened the other night. I was out of line in so many ways that I can't even begin to name them all. I was disrespectful to you when you've been nothing but honest and supportive to me. I'm really sorry about that.” I took a deep breath. "I want you to know that I heard what you said. It might not have seemed like that at the time, but I did. A few other things have happened, and I'm making some of those changes you mentioned.”
