It was easier to blame my thudding heart and flushed face on that shift than it was to admit that his touch made me entertain some crazy, intoxicating notions . . . such as how his lips might feel against mine. And it made me remember his hard body around me when I’d unceremoniously leaped into his arms during the snake incident. Once fear had seeped away, I’d been all too aware of his hands on my ass and the strength of his arms holding me.
With a small groan, I slumped back into my chair. As glad as I was that Deacon and I were enjoying a little peace, I was beginning to wonder if it had been safer for both of us when we’d been at odds. But who was I kidding? At war or not, I couldn’t stop thinking about the delectable Dr. Foxy . . . and the more I got to know him, the more I knew I was in trouble.
11
Deacon
As a southeast Florida boy, born and bred, I observed the seasons a little differently than the rest of the world. Basically, it was hot, hotter, damn hot, fucking hot and the occasional rare cooler day, when temperatures hovered in the mid-seventies, humidity stayed low and the sun wasn’t baking us. My grandparents talked about a time when we’d experienced a short winter even down here—weeks of temps in the low sixties or upper fifties, clear, crisp days with bright blue skies and soft sunshine—but over the years, that happened less and less frequently.
Global warming, man. It was a real thing.
Still, walking from my truck to the hospital, I noted that maybe we were moving out of fucking hot into simply damn hot. Fall was coming. Sometimes, its arrival felt like a mere rumor when we were in the pit of hell called summer, but eventually, the heat ebbed back until it was only hitting the mid-afternoon. Before too long, mornings and evenings would be almost comfortable again. I’d be able to back down the air conditioning in my house and open some windows part of the day.
Thoughts of the comforts of my home brought Emma and her ramshackle trailer to mind. Well, if I were being honest with myself, I’d admit that it didn’t take much these days to make me think of our naturopath. For some reason that I didn’t care to examine too closely, the tenuous peace that Emma and I were enjoying had changed everything. Now that I wasn’t preoccupied with how much of a pain in my ass she was, I had time to consider her finer points . . . and not just that truly excellent set of ta-tas and the way her ass had felt cupped in my hands, either.
No, I had to admit that Emma was bright, smart and fun. She had keen insight into our patients, along with endless compassion. Like me, she had a tendency to let the work consume her because she was all in for the people we served, but having seen her hanging out with Jenny now and then, I had the impression that she could play as hard as she worked. I’d also noticed that her relationship with the rest of the staff was easy and positive. Aside from Mira, of course . . . the two women still butted heads frequently, but I knew that despite her grumblings, the head nurse had begun to respect and appreciate Emma.
She definitely wasn’t a hot-house rose. She was tougher than I’d anticipated, and seeing where she lived had only reinforced that impression for me. I wondered how she was managing to sleep in the trailer during these hot nights. It must have been stifling at times.
“Hey, Deacon.”
Preoccupied with my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed Noah Spencer jogging along the same path I was taking. Pausing, I raised a hand in greeting.
“Noah. You’re here early today.”
He grinned, the crooked movement of his mouth lighting up his whole face. “I hear my girl might get sprung this morning, so I came over as soon as I got up, just in case. I don’t want her to have to wait around for me.”
“That’s the rumor.” I smiled back at him. All of us were happy with Angela’s progress. She’d navigated the waters of the stem cell transplant with textbook excellence, experiencing a minimum of discomfort and few side effects. Her counts had recovered nicely—enough that I was comfortable with letting her go home to continue the process. “I bet you can’t wait to have her home. And I’m thinking you won’t miss the commute between here and Tampa, either.”
“No, that’s true.” The big guy hesitated, shooting me a smile that seemed a little forced. “But I’ve gotta admit—I’m a little terrified about Ang being home, too. Here, she has all the care she needs around the clock. But what if I screw up something on my end? What if I really fuck the whole thing up, and then she’s over an hour away from the hospital?”
“Whoa, there, Noah.” I held up one hand. “First of all, if something comes up that you need emergency care, you’d go to the local hospital. They have the facilities to keep Angela stabilized until we figured out what was going on. I could get there fast, too, if I need to. So don’t worry about that—you have backup. We’ve gone over everything you need to know for the first few weeks. I know you’ve read the literature, and you’ve asked really good questions. You’ve put things in place at home to help out, right?”
He nodded. “The cleaners were there all day yesterday, disinfecting everything. The cat is staying with one of my buddies for the time being. I ordered special meals, following the parameters Emma laid down. I have an aide coming to the house for any time I can’t be there.” He ran one hand through his short hair. “It kills me that I can’t be there to take care of her myself the whole time. But she absolutely refused to let me take any days off from practice—especially with pre-season coming up so quick.”
I sighed. “She still wants to keep all of this under wraps? You haven’t told your teammates or your friends?”
“Nope.” Noah shook his head. “Our parents know, and so do her sisters and my brothers. Ang says once she’s on the other side of it, she’ll think about letting the story out. But she wants to wait until she can use it as a way to help others, you know? Sort of anI made it, so can youdeal. I tried to tell her that people love her, and they’d want to support her through all of it, but she doesn’t want that.” He let out a long breath. “I can’t fight her about it. Ultimately, it’s her deal.”
“True. But what Angela might not realize is thatyouneed support, too, and if you’re too busy keeping quiet, you can’t reach out to those people who could make this time easier for you.”
“Emma’s said the same thing to me and to Angela, too. But I don’t want her to make Ang feel bad about me and make the decision based on that.” Noah shrugged. “It’s all good. We’re on the home stretch now, right? The hard part is over.”
I was silent for a moment before answering him. “In some ways, yes. But there’s still risk of infection or illness, if Angela was exposed to something before her immune system is fully back. She’s still neutropenic at this point. And there’s also the very real possibility of rejection. Graft-versus-host disease can be very serious.” I watched Noah’s face darken, and I gentled my tone. “I’m not trying to frighten you, man. You’re right that one of the hard parts is over. I guess it’s a balance between relief and continued vigilance, you know?”
“Yeah, I guess.” He stared at the ground and then shook his head. “I appreciate your honesty, Deacon. I hope you know that both Ang and I are crazy grateful for everything you’ve done for us since day one. I can’t imagine going through this shit with anyone else.” He waved his hand toward the hospital. “What you’ve put together here—it’s a good thing, dude. It’s going to help a lot of folks. Once we’re through our stint here, we want to do something to help you—you know, like fundraising or something like that.”
“That’s really great to hear, Noah. Thanks.” I would be tremendously grateful for any support, but coming from a guy who could potentially rally some fairly big donors—that was huge.
“Not only are you an incredible doctor, but everyone who works here is wonderful. The nurses, the NPs . . . and Emma. Especially Emma.” He shot me a meaningful look. “Bringing her on board was an inspired move. I’ve seen her work wonders—not only with Ang, but with other patients on the floor, too.”
There was undeniable admiration in Noah’s voice, but I found myself listening for something more. More than once, I’d come upon the two of them talking, either out in the courtyard or in the hallway at the hospital. I didn’t think Emma would even think of doing something as unethical as flirting with a patient’s husband—and I had no doubt that Noah was devoted to his wife—but still, there was a connection between the two of them. Maybe it was just friendship. I didn’t want to admit that what I felt about that was probably jealousy.
“She’s a very gifted naturopath,” I agreed. “We don’t always come at a problem the same way, but I’ll be the first to admit that Emma’s added a new dimension to our practice.”
“Yeah, she’s rattled your cage more than once, hasn’t she?” Noah’s eyes twinkled, making me wonder just what Emma had shared with him.
“I think we ended up complementing each other.” I raised one eyebrow. “And I’ll leave it at that. I need to go inside and get to work, but I’ll be around to see Angela shortly, and with any luck, we can have you two on your way home before lunch.”
